Notes of Faith February 2, 2023

Notes of Faith February 2, 2023

Practice the Art of Gentleness

Nothing is so strong as true gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as true strength. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Have you ever seen gentleness de-escalate a tense situation? If so, maybe you were the source of that gentleness.

The Bible tells us that a gentle answer can calm a person’s anger (Proverbs 15:1). Gentleness almost always contributes to contentment as well as peace. Throughout His life, Jesus showed us by His example the power of gentleness.

See in Matthew 11:29 the way He described Himself:

Accept my teachings and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. — NCV

And consider His gentleness with a woman caught in adultery. The Pharisees and teachers of the law were ready to stone her in accordance with Jewish law. Then Jesus made this simple statement:

Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.

— John 8:7

When no one did, when each one walked away, Jesus was alone with the woman. To her He said simply,

Go and sin no more. — John 8:11 NLT

Choose gentleness today. Refrain from judging others. Treat the people you encounter the way you would like them to treat you, the gentle way your Good Shepherd treats you.

Psalm 23 is perhaps the most beautiful expression of Jesus’ gentle ways with us:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters,

He refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

for His name’s sake.

Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

*

Grace is the face that love wears.

Extend Grace

Grace is the face that love wears when it meets imperfection. ~ Joseph R. Cooke

The world was a kinder place when people interacted face-to-face. It isn’t easy to say rude things when you’re looking someone in the eyes. Slamming someone over social media or with a flippant text message is much easier — and that is happening far too much. Freedom of speech has lost its filter. Thoughtless, disrespectful, hurtful comments run rampant today in social media, late-night talk shows, and even the news.

How do you deal with rude people? When someone is rude to you, maybe your first reaction is to be rude right back. Rudeness responding to rudeness destroys peace. There are better ways to deal with a person’s lack of courtesy and kindness.

Recognize that someone’s imperfections are just that. If a person makes a disagreeable comment on your social media post, cuts in front of you in the grocery line, or, ignoring you, keeps talking on their cell phone, don’t take it personally. Their behavior is about them, not you. So rather than allowing something to upset you and steal your contentment, practice grace by taking the following steps:

Take a deep breath.

Remember what you’re committed to in your heart.

Lead by example and treat them the way you would like to be treated.

Go one step further and offer authentic listening, an act of kindness, or help with something you learn they are dealing with.

Extending grace to difficult people takes practice, but remembering how many times you have received grace makes extending it to others a little easier. Blessing people with grace — with the grace of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, or patience — can help break the cycle of upset in the world. Become a beacon of grace and peace.

Grace is the face that love wears.

Excerpted from Love the Life You Have by Jean Fischer, copyright Thomas Nelson.

Being gentle and gracious do not come naturally. They are things that we must cultivate through our walk of faith and power of the Holy Spirit. But in so doing we will be blessed and filled with the joy of the Lord. Today, let us seek to be gentle and gracious!

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith February 1, 2023

Notes of Faith February 1, 2023

Prayers for Fear and Anxiety

Fear and anxiety are at an all-time high the world over. We pray that you find these prayers comforting, exhorting, and hopeful!

Son of God, who subdued the troubled waters and laid to rest the fears of men,

let Your majesty master us and

Your power of calm control us.

Replace our fears with faith

and our unrest with perfect trust in You,

who lives and governs all things, world without end.

~ John Wallace Suter (1859–1942), Adapted

Set free, O Lord, the souls of Your servants

from all restlessness and anxiety.

Give us that peace and power which flow from You. Keep us in all perplexity and distress,

that upheld by Your strength

and stayed on the rock of Your faithfulness,

we may abide in You now and forevermore.

~ Francis Paget (1851–1911)

To You alone, O Jesus, I must cling; running to Your arms, dear Lord,

there let me hide, safe from all fears, loving You with the tenderness of a child.

~ St. Thérèse of Lisieux (1873–1897)

You say that if I give You my burdens,

You will take care of me.

You say that I should cast all my cares upon You,

because You love me,

because You can handle them all, and because it shows my faith in You.

A burden that is heavy enough to sink me is as light as a feather to You.

A fear that can paralyze me

has no power over You.

So I unload it all before You

and hand it over for You to manage.

I put my trust in You — not in my perspective or resources. You can do anything, God!

I will not be afraid, because You are my King and Father. You are with me, and You are for me.

You accept me as I need You and rely on You,

and You walk with me now and always.

You will strengthen me for whatever comes.

~ C. M.

Lord, my emotions could propel me downward or pull a curtain around me, blocking Your light. But instead, I look to You and pray:

Train my mind on Your truth.

Shape my thoughts with Your Spirit.

Fill my heart with Your peace.

Guide me and give me self-control to do what is wise. I trust that what You say is more real than what I feel.

~ C. M.

Make my body healthy and agile,

my mind sharp and clear,

my heart joyful and contented,

my soul faithful and loving. . . .

Above all let me live in Your presence, for with You all fear is banished

and there is only harmony and peace.

Let every day combine the beauty of spring, the brightness of summer,

the abundance of autumn,

and the repose of winter.

And at the end of my life on earth,

grant that I may come to see and know You in the fullness of Your glory.

~ St. Thomas Aquinas (1225–1274)

You will take care of me.

Everything I could be worrying about right now, I’m praying about instead.

My concerns could take over my mind all day and seize my heart with despair.

But instead I’m taking those thoughts captive

and turning to You.

I want to make my mind obedient to You, the Truth.

I tell You what I need and hope for,

then let the matters rest in Your hands.

I rejoice that I belong to You, and You are a good Father. You’ve provided before, and You will again.

I realize my situation is an exercise in faith-training,

an opportunity to trust You and give You glory.

Now, Holy Spirit, the Great Helper,

give me self-control throughout this day

and help me fix my thoughts where You want them. May I find the good all around me.

May I fill my mind with what’s right and pure—

“the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”

May I dwell on—and give power to—what is true.

May I find even simple things to delight in.

Help me choose joy; choose hope; choose peace.

~ C. M., quoted materials from Philippians 4:8 The Message

Most loving Father,

who has taught us to dread nothing but the loss of You, preserve me from faithless fears and worldly anxieties.

~ William Bright (1824–1901)

O my Lord and Savior,

in Your arms I am safe.

Keep me and I have nothing to fear. . . .

I know nothing about the future,

but I rely upon You.

I pray that You would give me what is good for me. . . .

If You bring pain or sorrow on me,

give me grace to bear it well—

keep me from fretfulness and selfishness.

If You give me health and strength and success in this world, keep me always on my guard

lest these great gifts carry me away from You.

O Christ, You died on the Cross for me,

even for me, sinner as I am.

Help me to know You,

to believe in You,

to love You,

to serve You,

to always aim at bringing You glory,

to live to and for You.

~ St, John Henry Newman (1801–1890)

Excerpted from A Prayer for Every Occasion by Carrie Mars, copyright Zondervan.

1 John 4:18

18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

NASU

Trusting God and His perfect love for us should cast away all the fear that we could experience in this world. God’s provision for those who believe and follow Jesus is eternal and the fears presented to us by this world are temporal.

Let us trust in the Lord!

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith January 31, 2023

Notes of Faith January 31, 2023

The Beauty of Silver Hair

Why Churches Need Older Women

Article by Dave Furman

Guest Contributor

Sometime in late 2009, on a chilly winter morning in Dubai (still 90 degrees!), Mack and his wife, Leeann, came up to me in the back of our church’s worship center. They communicated their intention to join our church-planting team working to establish a new church on the north side of town. They were the first to do so. As the months unfolded, Mack, as a founding elder, certainly played a huge role in the new plant. His evangelistic zeal and joyful leadership proved contagious. However, Leeann was the unsung hero.

Over the years, through Leeann’s leadership and discipleship, a number of women matured and began to lead Bible studies with other women throughout the church. One of these leaders is named Happy (whose personality matches her name brilliantly). Happy has since returned to her home in South Africa and has continued her ministry there, but during the first decade of our church plant, Leeann led our women’s ministry and then handed the baton of leadership over to Happy. The spiritual fruit was tangible and beautiful.

“No matter the predominant generational demographic of a church, older women are always a blessing.”

I would never call either of these women “old,” but they are certainly older than me and older than most in our congregation. In an environment where virtually all expatriates leave our city to retire in their home country, older members are a special blessing to our demographically young congregation. Yet no matter the predominant generational demographic of a church, older women are always a blessing.

Older Women Teach Younger Women

Leeann, Happy, and many other women have modeled what the apostle Paul wrote to Pastor Titus:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

(Titus 2:3–5)

Neither male elders, male preachers, nor the word of God itself negate the need for older women to teach younger women in the church. Every church needs older women who will model godliness and teach younger women to follow their example.

MODELING GODLINESS

First, faithful older women model godliness and Christlike humility. They are reverent in behavior. They walk with God, and out of their relationship with God they model Christ to the other women in the church. Along with these positive descriptions, Paul gives two examples of irreverent behavior they are to avoid. Both areas indicate a lack of self-control.

Older women are not to be slanderers. Older women model what it means to guard their mouths by not gossiping and harming the church. Our words carry great power, and a wise older woman reminds younger women of the truth of Proverbs 12:18: “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” An older woman glorifies her Savior and gives grace to those who hear her when she does not let any unwholesome words come out of her mouth, but only what builds up, as fits the occasion (Ephesians 4:29).

Older women are not to be slaves to much wine. In other words, older women are self-controlled. Alcohol does not enslave them, nor do the typical preoccupations of this world. They live moderate, commendable lives that other women in the church can emulate.

TEACHING GODLINESS

Second, older women are to teach younger women “what is good” (Titus 2:3). Instead of speaking slanderous words, they train younger women to care well for their family and home. Older women have a plethora of wisdom to share with younger women about singleness, marriage, parenting, and other aspects of life. Regardless of one’s situation, older women have likely walked the same paths younger women are now walking. This teaching includes a study of how to love their husbands and children and what true biblical submission looks like. Such topics cannot be relegated to a classroom; they involve life-on-life discipleship.

This teaching Paul has in mind also includes areas like self-control and living pure lives in kindness. And older women teach all of this “that the word of God may not be reviled” (Titus 2:5) — that the godliness of a church’s women will display the goodness of God.

Older women are needed to serve all over the local church. They are needed to meet with other women in their homes for Bible studies. They are needed to teach other women in public and private. They are needed to meet one on one (or in small groups) in intentional discipleship relationships. It’s one of my greatest joys of pastoring to hear when people in the church meet with one another simply to open the word and study together.

Older Women Bless the Whole Church

While God calls men to lead and preach in local churches, godly older women tutor the whole church through their faithful ministry, their commendable example, and their Scripture-shaped words. As all watch their godly example of teaching and training younger generations, the result is infectious. Others in the church see their ministry and are challenged to follow in their path as they follow Christ.

“Godly older women tutor the whole church through their faithful ministry.”

By their example, older women instruct the whole church. I still remember learning from Leeann and Happy about godly speech. They were always slow to speak, but at the same time, they were quick to compliment and encourage. Their example still challenges me to build up my fellow church members with God’s word. Alongside those two, I can’t count how many conversations or testimonies I’ve heard from older women in our church that have encouraged me personally as a pastor and as a Christian.

I’m so thankful for Leeann and Happy and the long legacy of sages with silver hair who have blessed our church. I am thankful for their ministry to the younger women, but I am especially thankful for the impact they’ve had on the entire church. They have taught me about living a godly life and equipping the next generation.

Pastors, church leaders, and church members, we would all do well to learn from the older women in our congregations. They have much to teach us about life, ministry, and godliness.

God has blessed our church with godly silver-haired women. They have been and are now a great blessing to me personally and to our church. They are an example to follow toward maturity in Christ. Let’s give honor where honor is due and bless those who bless us. Thank you ladies, for your zeal and maturity in Christ!

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith January 30, 2023

Notes of Faith January 30, 2023

Article by Greg Morse

Staff writer, desiringGod.org

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name . . . (Matthew 6:9)

How many lips have formed these words since the Lord Jesus first taught them? How many languages have uttered them? How many different people, in how many different circumstances, have bowed their heads and hearts to pray as Jesus famously instructs?

The dying have prayed it. The uneducated have prayed it. The unbelieving and villainous have even prayed it. Children have prayed it. The great and wise have found room for it. Every continent on earth has heard it whispered. Tribes in remote villages and kings in tall palaces have bowed and repeated after the Jewish prophet from Nazareth. Has there been a prayer more prayed; have there been words more often spoken?

“For some of our wandering prayer lives, the best thing for us to learn is how not to pray.”

And yet, for as many as have repeated our Master’s teaching on how to pray, how many can repeat what words come directly before them — namely, the ones teaching us how not to pray? How many realize that our Lord’s instruction on prayer is both positive and negative — that it doesn’t simply stand alone but is given in contrast? For some of our wandering prayer lives, the best thing for us to learn is how not to pray like a Pharisee or a pagan.

Prayers of Pharisees

Do you love to be noticed and admired by others when you pray?

Jesus’s first how-not-to aims at the hypocrite, embodied in the Pharisee. When the Pharisee prayed, he wanted not so much to pray as to be seen praying. As a bird in mating season, he sang forth loud, preening look-at-me prayers.

“And when you pray,” Jesus begins, “you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others” (Matthew 6:5).

Such a man pours his best zeal and focus and interest into public prayers. He positions himself on street corners or within small groups. What may seem stirring and deeply spiritual to many does not impress the one above who knows their anxious thoughts: Are others looking? Are they impressed?

Jesus shows us an example of such a look-at-me pray-er, who cannot help exalting himself even without an audience.

Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: “God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.” (Luke 18:10–12)

In other words, “God, thank you that when you look at me — and when I look at me — we both behold such a pleasing sight! Unlike this man, loathsome to both Gentile and Jew alike, you have made me quite the spectacle. Twice per week my belly aches from fasting. My spice racks withhold not your due!” “Be merciful to me a sinner” lives miles from his mind in the distant town called Justified.

Do you pray to impress others? To build up a spiritual résumé? How is your life of secret prayer? Do you ever stand so tall or shine with such saintly luster as when you know others are watching? You must not be like them, Jesus teaches, for “they have received their reward.” Instead, “go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matthew 6:5–6).

Prayers of Pagans

Have you come to the end of your prayers and realized you can’t remember anything you just prayed? You spoke Christian-speak — observed the phrases of prayer, drew near to God with your mouth, and honored him with your lips while your heart was far from him. Prayer on autopilot.

“And when you pray,” Jesus teaches next, “do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words” (Matthew 6:7).

The pagans prayed empty mantras, stale platitudes, barren banalities. Prayer for pagans often proved little more than a formula — say these words so many times, and the gods will hear and reply. Just babble invocations in order to awaken your deity from his slumber, and he will eventually bless you. The priests of Baal modeled this in their showdown with Elijah, praying, “O Baal, answer us!” from morning until noon (1 Kings 18:26).

So too with us.

Although we do not pray to stones or wood or the sun, Jesus does not want his disciples praying true words to the true God falsely. Emptily. I don’t know about you, but mealtime prayers can be the first ones vampired of their lifeblood (what does it even mean to “bless this food to our bodies”?). Too many times, my mouth has moved, prayers were spoken — but not really from me. A pious ventriloquism.

Our Lord exposes a hidden insecurity underneath empty-phrased pagan prayers: “They think that they will be heard for their many words.” The pagans are uncertain about the divine heart toward them — so they appease or impress or update the unknowing and unconcerned gods. They try to get their attention, throwing dust at the heavens, desperately wishing for someone to answer.

Such an insecurity resonates with my say-more prayers. Am I really being heard? Prayer can seem less reliable than, say, a text message, which tells me it was delivered. Not so with prayer. I feel as though I pray carrier pigeons — as each flaps away, I hope some will arrive at the destination.

Praying empty phrases with many words, then, can turn into a probability proposition. The more pigeons, the greater the odds God receives the message. Third-times-a-charm mentality. But Jesus allays our rambling fears: “Do not be like them,” he instructs, “for your Father knows what you need before you ask him” (Matthew 6:8). Before you approach your Father’s throne, he knows. He knows your needs — his eye has not turned from you. The pagans pray to the unknown god. We pray to a Father.

Prayer for Christians

Jesus introduces “Our Father who art in heaven” with “Pray then like this” (Matthew 6:9). Then connects the instruction on how not to pray with the how-to Lord’s Prayer.

I believe Jesus gives us this prayer, in part, to contrast with the how-not-to errors of the hypocrites and pagans. In his short prayer, Jesus gives us an alternative to the look-at-me prayer of the Pharisee and the say-more prayer of the pagan.

Against hypocrite prayers, he teaches us to pray,

Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven. (Matthew 6:9–10)

Jesus teaches his disciples to pray that God in all his glory be seen, not us. Instead of our names being hallowed, our kingdoms coming, our righteousness being seen and praised and admired — or the various ways we ask for these — we want God’s to be imposed and cherished. This prayer, spoken from the heart and not just the mouth, transforms hypocrites to worshipers, deorbiting the heart from revolving around self to God. And when God’s fame is truly our heart’s desire, we will come to love secret prayer.

Against pagan prayers, Jesus adds,

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one. (Matthew 6:11–13)

“When God’s fame is truly our heart’s desire, we will come to love secret prayer.”

Instead of waking a snoring deity, anxious to appease the god we do not truly know, we pray to a heavenly Father. And therefore, instead of seeking to impress or play probability games with the divine ear, we can pray simple, childlike, and even concise prayers to our Father (this prayer totals 57 words in Greek, 38 in Luke’s account), knowing that we have his ear through Jesus Christ. We ask him for the needs we already know he knows about. He is a Father, bidding his sons and daughters come close to tell him all the requests of their hearts.

One of the best ways to pray is to know how not to pray. Instead of praying self-exalting prayers that cry, Look at me! we pray in secret, and we pray for God’s glory to be loved and admired. Instead of praying empty-talk, babbling, insecure prayers, we pray about daily bread and forgiveness, knowing that he knows our needs and has forgiven us in Christ before we ask him.

Praying for God’s will to be done and how you can be used for His honor and glory, praying for His family to grow, for sinners to come to the Savior Jesus Christ by grace through faith, praying for those in your field of influence and connection for their earthly and spiritual needs, will bring answer to your prayers. It is all too easy to focus on ourselves and not the Lord and others around us. The world needs God and we must take Him to them, as we are commanded to do, then let the Lord finish His work in the hearts of those with whom we have shared the gospel. Pray and share the gospel today!

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith January 29, 2023

Notes of Faith January 29, 2023

Be Still, My Soul

A Hymn for the Hardest Losses

Article by Jon Bloom

Staff writer, desiringGod.org

After nearly two decades, the memory is still vivid: standing in the living room with the phone to my ear, listening as my friend and pastor, Rick, described to me through sobs how one of the young, vibrant couples in our church had just been in a terrible car accident. The husband had survived. But the wife had not. And neither had their unborn son — their first child, whose birth they had been anticipating with so much joy.

I stood stunned, trying to process this new reality. I could see her laughing with a group of people after church the previous Sunday. Now, she was suddenly gone — taken, along with her child, in a violent event that unfolded in a few seconds. Rick asked me, the leader of the worship ministry, to begin thinking and praying over possible music for the funeral that would likely be held the next week.

If my memory is accurate, the first song that came to mind, almost immediately, was one of my favorite hymns: “Be Still, My Soul.”

Song for Deepest Sorrow

I have loved this hymn since my late teens. When sung to a beautiful arrangement of the tune “Finlandia,” it has, to my ear, perfect prosody — that’s the term musicians use to describe how “all elements [of a song] work together to support the central message of the song.” And the central message of “Be Still, My Soul” is the resurrection hope Jesus gives us in the face of the devastating death of a loved one.

The powerful lyrics come from the pen of a German woman named Katharina Amalia Dorothea von Schlegel and began appearing in German hymnals in 1752. Little is known about Katharina. Some believe she may have been a “Stiftsfraulein,” a member of a female Lutheran “stift” (convent) in the town of Köthen (one hundred miles southwest of Berlin), and that she had been significantly influenced by a pietistic Christian renewal movement.

No record survives of the specific event(s) that inspired her to compose this deeply moving hymn. But such specifics aren’t necessary since we all experience the kind of devastating losses she writes about. And when they come, we often find ourselves enduring an internal hurricane of disorienting grief, in desperate need of the peaceful shelter of hope. And the gift Katharina has bequeathed to us — in the four verses most English hymnals contain (she wrote six) — is this profound poetic reminder of the one shelter for our sorrowful, storm-tossed souls: the faithfulness of God.

‘The Lord Is on Thy Side’

She begins in verse one by reminding us of the unshakable foundation on which we stand by faith:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In ev’ry change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

The first line is a near quote of Psalm 118:6: “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.” But the rationale for why we have any right to make this otherwise audacious claim is gloriously stated in Romans 8:31–32:

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

In the swirl of grief, we may wonder, “All things? Then why did God not spare my loved one from death and me from such anguish of separation?” To which the Holy Spirit, through the great apostle, graciously, hopefully, and gently replies,

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Romans 8:37–39)

Soul, be at peace: your faithful Lord is on your side. And he will lead you through this vale of deep darkness to the eternally Son-lit, joyful land of everlasting love (Psalm 23:4, Revelation 21:23).

‘All Now Mysterious Shall Be Bright at Last’

In verse two, Katharina reminds us of the great promise purchased for us when the Father did not spare his own Son for us: freedom from the curse of living with the knowledge of good and evil — the knowledge we insisted on having, while lacking the capacities to comprehend or mange it.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake

To guide the future, as He has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;

All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Now, God’s purposes in allowing evil to wreak such grievous havoc are largely shrouded in mystery, and so can appear senseless. But it will not always be so. For Jesus came to undo all of the effects of curse. First, he came into the world to undo the curse of death (Genesis 3:19). And then, when we finally experience life free from remaining sin and beyond the threat of death, we shall be given knowledge more wonderful than what we sought from the Edenic fruit: we shall know fully, even as we have been fully known (1 Corinthians 13:12).

Soul, be at peace: your faithful Lord will soon make all you now find so mysterious bright at last.

‘Jesus Can Repay All He Takes Away’

In verse three, when the sword of grief has pierced our hearts at the deaths of our dearest ones, Katharina applies the balm of gospel promise to our throbbing wound.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,

And all is darkened in the vale of tears,

Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,

Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.

Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay

From His own fullness all He takes away.

That last line echoes the great faith-filled, worshipful declaration Job made upon the news of the deaths of his dear children: “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). But Katharina’s words declare the biblical promise of a greater restoration than Job experienced on earth. For God has promised that even the severest losses will someday seem like “light momentary affliction” compared to the “eternal weight of glory” they produce (2 Corinthians 4:17).

“Your faithful Lord will never depart and will repay from his own fullness far more than all he takes away.”

But this verse also describes a Christian’s paradoxical experience in the very anguish of bereavement. For those who, while grieving, place their trust in their best and heav’nly friend receive a foretaste of the riches of Jesus’s fullness as they come to “better know His love, His heart.” They often experience new dimensions of the reality of what Jesus meant when he said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5), and “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

Soul, be at peace: your faithful Lord will never depart and will repay from his own fullness far more than all he takes away.

‘We Shall Be Forever with the Lord’

One week after that tragic car accident, we gathered in the sanctuary to remember the lives and grieve the deaths of that young wife, daughter, sister, friend, and expectant mother, and the baby boy she and her devastated husband had looked forward to bringing into the world. But we did not grieve as those “who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13).

My clearest memory of the funeral was being so deeply moved and comforted by the way I heard my brothers and sisters sing “Be Still, My Soul,” especially the last verse:

Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on

When we shall be forever with the Lord.

When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past

All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

“There is coming a day when ‘we will always be with the Lord.’”

Here is every Christian’s “blessed hope” (Titus 2:13), the reason Jesus is for us “the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25). Katharina’s words helped us encourage one another in the hope that there is coming a day when “we will always be with the Lord” (1 Thessalonians 4:17–18). They helped us together preach to our souls,

Soul, be at peace: your faithful Lord will soon gather us all together again, safe and blessed, in his presence — where his full joy will be our full joy, and where all that gives him pleasure will be all that gives us pleasure forever (Psalm 16:11).

Then, having done our best to still our souls through faith in God’s faithfulness, we escorted the earthly remains of our sister and baby brother to the cemetery, where we sowed their perishable, weak, and natural bodies into the ground in the hope that Jesus will raise them with imperishable, powerful, spiritual bodies (1 Corinthians 15:42–44). And upon the grave’s marker, the loving husband and father, whose loss had been incalculable, yet who in faith believed Christ had greater gain for the three of them, had this text inscribed:

As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness. (Psalm 17:15)

Ps 46:10

"Be still, and know that I am God.”

ESV

Matt 28:20

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

ESV

We are never alone in grief or joy!

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith January 28, 2023

Notes of Faith January 28, 2023

How the Root of Insecurity Is Tied to Your Identity

I leaped out of bed when the alarm signaled it was time to wake up and hit the pavement. Ten minutes later, I was outside pressing “start running” on my fitness app and putting in my earbuds to listen to a worship music playlist. I was excited to run because the cool, crisp mornings between winter and spring are my favorite time of year.

I made it home just in time to give my seven-and ten-year-old sons sweaty hugs and my husband a sweaty kiss before they left for the day. Then I started my post-run routine of showering, stretching, making a pot of tea, and having some quiet time with the Lord. I was looking forward to my Bible study time because the cancelation of many of my speaking engagements allowed me to study for the fun of it without the pressure of preparing to give a message.

The Holy Spirit had led me to take an interest in the life of Jonathan, King Saul’s son. A lot was written about his father, and even more was written about his best friend, David, but I had never looked closely at Jonathan.

I started reading in 1 Samuel 14, which tells the story of how Jonathan waged an attack on a Philistine outpost with only his young armor-bearer by his side. As Jonathan made his way to Mikmash to fight two dozen Philistines by himself, his father, the king, rested comfortably under a pomegranate tree in Gibeah with six hundred soldiers. The juxtaposition of the two scenes was striking.

When Jonathan and his young armor-bearer reached the outpost, they saw that the Philistines were positioned on a cliff. This put Jonathan and his armor-bearer at a strategic disadvantage because it robbed them of the element of surprise. The climb to the Philistines’ position would also use precious energy they needed for the battle.

Nevertheless, Jonathan turned to his armor-bearer and said,

Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few. — 1 Samuel 14:6

I repeated that last line to myself: “Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.” Something about it resonated. When the Lord is for us, we can be outnumbered but are never unprotected.

Insecurity Exposed

I read a couple more chapters and then decided it was time to start my day. I quickly checked my Facebook page to respond to comments and messages and then did the same on Instagram. Although I normally go straight to my Instagram notifications, that day I caught a glimpse of my newsfeed first. And that’s when the downward emotional spiral started.

After scrolling for what felt like an eternity, I counted no fewer than eight friends posting the exciting news that they were joining an amazing roster of speakers for a major women’s conference that was going virtual because of the pandemic. Since I don’t follow many people on social media, it seemed like the only thing in my newsfeed was an avalanche of exciting announcements about speaking at the Full Blossom Conference.

“Why wasn’t I invited to speak?” I asked aloud. “It’s like Susie asked everyone we mutually know except me.”

With each new post, I felt what can only be described as the stab of an emotional ice pick to the heart. My mind was clouded with hurt, so I stopped scrolling, closed Instagram, and looked out my living room window into a beautiful day. The skies were blue and filled with fluffy white clouds. Birds bounded from limb to limb on the tree just outside my window. But the beauty outside couldn’t overcome the ugliness churning inside me.

An old, familiar hurt resurfaced inside — the hurt of being unwanted.

I’ve had a full speaking schedule for years, despite never once advertising myself as a speaker or asking to speak at events. And I receive more speaking invitations for business and church conferences than I can accept. I’ve been invited to speak on multiple continents and keynoted major conferences across the United States and abroad. Yet, somehow, not being invited to speak at this conference bothered me.

I’d heard of Full Blossom before and had never desired to speak at it, but after I saw many of the people in my ministry circle invited to speak there, my exclusion catalyzed a self-worth inquisition.

Comparison makes what never mattered before the thing that matters most.

As I sat down at my desk and opened my laptop, I felt a magnetic pull back to Instagram. I had back-to-back video conferences every thirty minutes for the next seven hours, so I set my phone down and logged on for the first meeting. Within ten minutes, I had discreetly unlocked my phone, opened Instagram, and continued the scroll. An irresistible and poisonous thread tugged on my heart and distracted me from work.

I went to Susie’s profile and saw post after post of her gushing about each speaker: how incredible they were and how perfect the conference would be because of them. My chest tightened, and a lump grew in my throat as I watched a video of her enthusiastically naming several of my friends as speakers. Although she spoke about them, my heart heard her speaking to me: Nona, I know who you are. I’ve seen what you do. And you’re not good enough. You’re not what I’m looking for. You’re just average.

I had not only constructed the full-blown, play-by-play narrative for why Susie hadn’t invited me but also decided I needed to unfollow everyone she had invited to speak. My heart felt like it would shatter if I saw one more friend’s post about the awesome conference I wasn’t invited to speak at. I didn’t want to wade through endless reminders that they were speaking at the conference and I wasn’t.

“Why did she pick everyone around me but not me?” I asked aloud again. The more I thought about it, the more my hurt turned to anger. But in my anger, I heard the Holy Spirit ask a different question: “Why does it matter?”

“Why does it matter?” I responded incredulously. “Because everyone who’s anyone will be speaking there. And I’m not. This will be the largest online women’s ministry gathering of the year, and I will be absent.”

“So you think you matter only because of the speaking invitations you receive?” the Holy Spirit asked.

“No,” I said. “I know I matter to You. I just... I just...” I stammered as the weight of the truth settled on me.

“Go ahead,” the Holy Spirit prompted, “say it.”

“I just want to matter to them too,” I whispered, tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

“I know, Nona. You want to matter to them because you’re insecure,” the Holy Spirit said matter-of-factly.

“Insecure?” I responded with disbelief. “I’m not insecure! Far from it. I know who I am in You. I preach about it regularly. Besides, I have everything I could ever want and more than I could ever have imagined. I’m definitely not insecure!”

The Root of Insecurity

With love and conviction, the Holy Spirit said, “Nona, you think people are insecure if they don’t like how they look or don’t like what they have or don’t like what they do. Those are expressions of insecurity, but they’re not the root of insecurity. The root of insecurity is when your identity is built on an insecure foundation.”

As I considered what the Holy Spirit said, I felt defensive. “My identity is secured to You, Lord. I know what the Word says about who I am, and I believe it. How can You say I’m insecure?”

“Yes, you know what my Word says, and you also believe it,” affirmed the Holy Spirit. “But knowledge and belief are not the same as faith. As long as you know my Word in your head and believe it in your heart but don’t practice it daily, your identity will continue to be secured to the affirmation of others. You have built your identity on people’s approval. People show their approval with likes on social media, but I demonstrated my approval through love on the cross. I approved of you before you were formed in your mother’s womb. And my approval is unchanging.”

The truth in these words hit me like a Mack truck. So much of my life had been spent trying to win people’s approval, and maybe yours has too.

The approval of others is never permanent, and it often depends on variables that are beyond our control. People use things such as height, weight, wealth, popularity, theology, position, or political affiliation as “approval filters” to determine whether we’re good enough for them. Yet God approved of us before there was anything to approve of. God created us on purpose, with purpose.

The Holy Spirit said, “Nona, the reason you’re hurt by not being invited to speak at that conference is because you measure your worth based on how much people approve of you compared to others. When you aren’t secured to the stable foundation of who I say you are, you drift with the shifting currents of others’ opinions about you. When you drift from Me, you have to secure your identity to people’s opinions to stay afloat. Your insecurity didn’t start this morning. You’ve been insecure most of your life.”

I sat in silence with my eyes closed, reflecting on what the Holy Spirit had said. Before I knew it, my eyes were brimming with tears. The Holy Spirit was right — as always.

Somewhere along the line, I had surrendered my purpose for performative applause. God had valued me before I even had the ability to perform my way into his love. Though God determined I was worth dying for at my worst (Romans 5:8), I made the mistake of conflating my eternal, intrinsic value with likes, follows, shares, and speaking invitations. And the craziest part of it all is that no one knew. Not even me. It happened subtly, over time.

With every larger platform I stepped onto, my heart had slowly detached from the secure foundation of God’s approval and attached itself to the insecure foundation of other people’s approval, creating insecurity.

“Lord, You’re right,” I said. “You say in your Word that people honor You with their lips but their hearts are far from You. I now understand what You mean. I have honored You with my lips, but I’m not honoring You with my life. Lord, I need Your help. Please deliver me from insecurity.”

“Nona, what you’re asking will require more than you expect, but if you trust Me and obey Me, I will help you get to freedom. You must no longer look to others for approval; you must look only to Me.”

“Lord, I’m ready,” I said.

“No, you’re not. But that’s what My grace is for.”

Just as Jonathan was outnumbered against the Philistines, we can feel overwhelmed by seeming to never measure up. But the same divine grace that enabled His victory is the same grace that enables our victory over insecurity too.

Adapted from Killing Comparison by Nona Jones, copyright Nona Jones. Shared from biblegateway.com.

Comparison kills. It kills our attitude, motivation, and faithfulness. God indeed loved us and did everything for us while we were in rebellion to Him. We did not know Him, love Him or serve Him, and yet He gave His life for us. This had nothing to do with any of those things and yet we try to compare ourselves with others. We just need to trust God and revel in the relationship He calls us to with Himself and not be concerned with worldly relationships. He made us all and calls us to do His work as He has gifted us. Be happy, even glorified in the work that He has called you to do!

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith January 27, 2023

Notes of Faith January 27, 2023

Ultimate Contentment

Faithful God,

Help me to learn the secret of being content in any and every situation. I realize that contentment- training is a challenging process — learned through enduring a wide range of difficulties. I thought I was fairly advanced in this training, but then the circumstances of my life got harder. On some days I’m able to cope fairly well with all the stress. On other days I just want out! Please teach me how to handle the “other days.”

I am so grateful that I can pour out my heart to You — acknowledging how frustrated and upset I’m feeling. Just releasing those pent-up feelings in Your Presence does me a world of good. Knowing that You completely understand me and my circumstances encourages me even more.

Lord, would You please deepen my awareness of Your continual Presence with me? I know I need to stay in communication with You — talking with You, bathing my mind and heart in scriptures that speak to my situation. And singing praises to You lifts my spirits like nothing else! It is good to sing praises to Your Name — declaring Your lovingkindness in the morning and Your faithfulness every night.

In Your loving Name, Jesus, Amen

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. — Philippians 4:12

Pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. — Psalm 62:8

It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; to declare Your lovingkindness in the morning, and Your faithfulness every night. — Psalm 92:1–2 NKJV

*

You are training me to depend on You alone, finding fulfillment in Your loving Presence.

Holy Lord,

I love to worship You in the beauty of holiness.

The beauty of Your creation reflects some of who You are, and it delights me! You are working Your ways in me: the divine Artist creating loveliness in my inner being. You’ve been clearing out the debris and clutter within me, making room for Your Spirit to take full possession. Help me to collaborate with You in this effort — being willing to let go of anything You choose to take away. You know exactly what I need, and You have promised to provide all of that — abundantly!

I don’t want my sense of security to rest in my possessions or in things going my way. You are training me to depend on You alone, finding fulfillment in Your loving Presence. This involves being satisfied with much or with little of the world’s goods, accepting either as Your will for me. Instead of grasping and controlling, I’m learning to release and receive. To cultivate this receptive stance, I need to trust You more — to be content in any and every situation.

In Your beautiful Name, Jesus, Amen

Give unto the Lord the glory due to His name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness. — Psalm 29:2 NKJV

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. — Psalm 27:4

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. — Philippians 4:19 NASB

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. — Philippians 4:12

Excerpted from Jesus Listens Notetaking Edition by Sarah Young, copyright Sarah Young.

If someone handed me a hundred, a thousand, a million, a billion dollars… I’m sure that I would gladly accept it. But I think I have learned to be content with what I have at the moment. God has always provided even when I was unemployed and seeking work to provide for my family. Learning to be content is difficult because our fallen nature always wants more. Let us strive to be more like Jesus who had no earthly wealth and yet had all that heaven offers should He speak a Word. We have been given an inheritance in heaven that is far beyond all that this earth could provide. Let us seek to please God through obedience in this life and wait for the treasure that has been laid up for us by our Lord Jesus Christ!

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith January 26, 2023

Notes of Faith January 26, 2023

God Will Help You Get Through Grief

We don’t discuss graveyards to brighten our day. Cemeteries aren’t typically known for their inspiration. But an exception was found in a graveyard near Bethany. And that one exception is exceptional.

A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair. Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling Him,

Lord, your dear friend is very sick. — John 11:1-3 NLT

John weighted the opening words of the chapter with reality: “A man named Lazarus was sick.” Your journal might reveal a comparable statement. “A woman named Judy was tired.” “A father named Tom was confused.” “A youngster named Sophia was sad.”

Lazarus was a real person with a real problem. He was sick; his body ached; his fever raged; his stomach churned. But he had something going for him. Or, better stated, he had Someone going for him. He had a friend named Jesus, the water-to-wine, stormy-sea-to-calm-waters, picnic-basket-to-buffet Jesus. Others were fans of Christ. Lazarus was friends with Him.

So the sisters of Lazarus sent Jesus a not-too-subtle message: “Lord, Your dear friend is very sick.”

They appealed to the love of Jesus and stated their problem. They did not tell Him how to respond. No presumption. No overreaching or underreacting. They simply wrapped their concern in a sentence and left it with Jesus. A lesson for us perhaps?

Christ responded to the crisis of health with a promise of help.

But when Jesus heard about it He said, ‘Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this’. — John 11:4 NLT

It would have been easy to misunderstand this promise. The listener could be forgiven for hearing “Lazarus will not face death or endure death.” But Jesus made a different promise: “This sickness will not end in death.” Lazarus, we learn, would find himself in the valley of death, but he would not stay there.

The messenger surely hurried back to Bethany and told the family to take heart and have hope.

Yet

He [Jesus] stayed where He was for the next two days. — John 11:6 NLT

The crisis of health was exacerbated by the crisis of delay. How many times did Lazarus ask his sisters, “Is Jesus here yet?” How many times did they mop his fevered brow and then look for Jesus’ coming? Did they not assure one another, “Any minute now Jesus will arrive”? But days came and went. No Jesus. Lazarus began to fade. No Jesus. Lazarus died. No Jesus.

When Jesus arrived at Bethany, He was told that Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days. — John 11:17 NLT

“Israel’s rabbinic faith taught that for three days a soul lingered about a body, but on the fourth day it left permanently.”1 Jesus was a day late, or so it seemed.

The sisters thought he was.

When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet Him. But Mary stayed in the house. Martha said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if only You had been here, my brother would not have died’. — John 11:20-21 NLT

Lord, if only You had been here...

She was disappointed in Jesus. “If only You had been here.” Christ did not meet her expectations. By the time Jesus arrived, Lazarus had been dead for the better part of a week. In our day his body would have been embalmed or cremated, the obituary would have been printed, the burial plot purchased, and the funeral at least planned, if not completed.

I know this to be true because I’ve planned many funerals. And in more memorials than I can count, I’ve told the Lazarus story. I’ve even dared to stand near the casket, look into the faces of modern-day Marthas, Marys, Matthews, and Michaels and say, “Maybe you, like Martha, are disappointed. You told Jesus about the sickness. You waited at the hospital bed. You kept vigil in the convalescent room. You told Him that the one He loved was sick, sicker, dying. And now death has come. And some of you find yourselves, like Mary, too bereaved to speak. Others, like Martha, too bewildered to be silent. Would you be willing to imitate the faith of Martha?”

Look again at her words:

Lord, if only You had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give You whatever You ask. — John 11:21-22 NLT, emphasis mine

How much time do you suppose passed between the “if only” of verse 21 and the “even now I know” of verse 22? What caused the change in her tone? Did she see something in the expression of Christ? Did she remember a promise from the past? Did His hand brush away her tear? Did His confidence calm her fear? Something moved Martha from complaint to confession.

Jesus responded with a death-defying promise:

Jesus told her, ‘Your brother will rise again.’ ‘Yes,’ Martha said, ‘he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.’ Jesus told her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in Me will live, even after dying… Do you believe this?’ — John 11:23-26 NLT

The moment drips with drama.

Look to whom Jesus asked this question: a bereaved, heartbroken sister.

Look at where Jesus stood as He asked this question: within the vicinity, perhaps in the center, of a cemetery.

Look at when Jesus asked this question: four days too late. Lazarus, His friend, was four days dead, four days gone, four days buried.

Martha has had plenty of time to give up on Jesus. Yet now this Jesus has the audacity to pull rank over death and ask, “Do you believe this, Martha? Do you believe that I am Lord of all, even of the cemetery?” Maybe she answered with a lilt in her voice, with the conviction of a triumphant angel, fists pumping the air and face radiant with hope. Give her reply a dozen exclamation marks if you want, but I don’t. I hear a pause, a swallow. I hear a meek

Yes, Lord,… I have always believed You are the Messiah, the Son of God, the One who has come into the world from God. — John 11:27 NLT

Martha wasn’t ready to say Jesus could raise the dead. Even so, she gave Him a triple tribute: “the Messiah,” “the Son of God,” and “the One who has come into the world.” She mustered a mustard-seed confession. That was enough for Jesus.

Martha fetched her sister. Mary saw Christ and wept. And

when Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within Him, and He was deeply troubled. ‘Where have you put him?’ He asked them. They told Him, ‘Lord, come and see.’ Then Jesus wept. — John 11:33-35 NLT

What caused Jesus to weep? Did He cry at the death of His friend? Or the impact death had on His friends? Did He weep out of sorrow? Or anger? Was it the fact of the grave or its control over people that broke His heart?

It must have been the latter because a determined, not despondent, Jesus took charge. Jesus told them to roll the stone away. Martha hesitated. Who wouldn’t? He insisted. She complied. Then came the command, no doubt the only command ever made to a cadaver. Jesus, prone as He was to thank God for impossible situations, offered a prayer of gratitude, and

then Jesus shouted, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in grave-clothes, his face wrapped in a headcloth. Jesus told them, ‘Unwrap him and let him go!’ — John 11:43-44 NLT

“Don’t miss the message of this miracle,” I love to say at funerals, although careful not to get too animated, because, after all, it is a memorial service. Still, I indulge in some excitement. “You are never alone. Jesus meets us in the cemeteries of life. Whether we are there to say goodbye or there to be buried, we can count on the presence of God.”

He is

Lord both of the dead and of the living. — Romans 14:9 ESV

An encore is scheduled. Lazarus was but a warm-up. Jesus will someday shout, and the ingathering of saints will begin. Graveyards, ocean depths, battlefields, burned buildings, and every other resting place of the deceased will give up the dead in whatever condition they might be found. They will be recomposed, resurrected, and re-presented in the presence of Christ. Salvation of the saints is not merely the redemption of souls but also the recollection of souls and bodies.

When we are in Christ, we grieve, but we grieve with hope. Lazarus is proof of this. His death proved that our Savior grieves death with us. Jesus cares and understands and feels the weight of death just like we do. But as the conqueror of death, Jesus knows death is not the end. It is simply the beginning of a life we cannot imagine during our lives on earth. So grieve here, today. Receive the comfort of Christ in your sorrow, but hold fast to the promise that the sorrow you feel in the night makes way for joy in the morning.

Father, I know You are my comforter. I know You are strong when I am weak. I know You are hope when I am hopeless. I need all these from You today — comfort, strength, and hope — because I cannot muster them on my own. When I am deep in grief, all I see is darkness, and all I feel is hopeless. But You empathize with this pain. You know it well. Remind me of Your love during this time. Remind me that I can share my thoughts and struggles with You. You are not afraid of negative feelings. Hold me as I walk through this season of grief. Don’t let me run away from it, but also don’t let me fall into despair. Guide me toward the hope and light I have in Christ. In His name, amen.

Excerpted from God Will Help You by Max Lucado, copyright Max Lucado.

Even so, Lord Jesus, come quickly!

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith January 25, 2023

Notes of Faith January 25, 2023

What’s the Best Way for Parents to Discipline Their Children?

Today's inspiration comes from:

Parenting: Getting It Right

by Andy & Sandra Stanley

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. — Proverbs 22:6

One of Sandra’s most brilliant moments of parenting came when the boys were eight and ten years old. She and I went out for the evening, and our longtime babysitter Pam looked after the kids.

When we walked through the door at the end of the night, we followed the usual script, asking her, “How’d it go? Was everyone well behaved?” Typically, Pam cheerfully reported that everything had been great. This time, however, she said, “Well, the boys…” She was reluctant to fill in the details of their misdeeds but eventually did. And it wasn’t good. They had been extremely disrespectful to her.

The next morning, they knew they were busted when Sandra woke them up earlier than normal and sent them straight to their desks to write apology notes. We were homeschooling at the time. Well, Sandra was. Once she deemed their phonetic spelling good enough, she said, “Get dressed in your nice clothes, get all the money out of your spending jars, and meet me in the car.” The boys had no idea what was going on. But they knew this was big. Side note: They were just old enough to appreciate money and just young enough not to have much of it.

After everybody was buckled in, Sandra laid out the game plan. First, they would head to the grocery store where the boys would each buy Pam flowers with their own money. Then they would drive to Pam’s office, deliver the flowers and notes, and apologize in person for their behavior the night before.

They were horrified.

I wasn’t there to see it, but I know for certain that as the boys walked past all of Pam’s colleagues on the way to her desk, they were wishing we had taken away every privilege and every toy and canceled Christmas instead of subjecting them to this. They would have given up everything to avoid this consequence.

As I said, it was brilliant. Brilliant and oh so effective.

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

— Proverbs 22:6

What’s the Point of Discipline?

Why do we discipline our children? What are we trying to accomplish? Maybe you’ve never stopped to think about it. I’m convinced most parents haven’t. When your child misbehaves,

you react.

You put them in time-out.

You send them to their room.

You take away their phone.

You probably do or say what your parents did or said to you. Or perhaps the pendulum has swung the other way and you intentionally don’t discipline your kids the way your parents did. That’s not a discipline goal. That’s a not goal. I’m not going to discipline like my parents! But even that doesn’t answer the question of why you discipline at all.

Either way, you are in the majority because most parents never establish or identify a goal when it comes to discipline. And if there is no preestablished goal, there is rarely any discipline. Punishment, yes. Payback, yes. Teach ’em a lesson! Maybe. But what’s the lesson? Don’t get caught next time?

Punishment is not discipline. Punishment is punishment.

Discipline makes a person better. Punishment rarely makes anybody better. It simply makes them more careful. And perhaps bitter. Not better. The message of punishment is this: If you don’t obey me, bad things will happen to you. If you inconvenience or embarrass me, I’ll inconvenience or embarrass you. There’s rarely any positive or permanent change, other than to the relationship. More on that later.

Fortunately, there’s a better way.

The Goal of Discipline

When honoring others is the chief value in a family, disobedience, dishonesty, and disrespect are problematic because they dishonor another person. They damage a relationship. Or, to put it another way, at the heart of every transgression is a someone, not a something.

The goal of discipline is to teach your child how to restore the relationship they damaged.

This is what Sandra got so right in the way she handled the boys’ behavior toward Pam. Taking away their LEGOs or making them do extra chores would have been pointless punishment. Pam’s feelings still would have been hurt, and the boys only would have learned to dial it back a bit next time. Instead, Sandra walked them through the steps of making things right in the relationship.

This is a skill that has to be taught. You teach your children to use a fork. You teach them to tie their shoes. And you have to teach your children how to restore a relationship. You’ve met plenty of adults who can eat with a fork and tie their shoes but who never learned to restore a broken relationship. They never learned because no one ever taught them, and perhaps they never saw it modeled either.

So they say things like, “I don’t know why you’re still upset. I said I was sorry!” No one ever taught them that an apology alone doesn’t rebuild a relationship. In some cases, an apology alone makes it worse. We should discipline with the goal of teaching our children the critical life skill of making things right with the people they’ve wronged. Your child’s future spouse, colleagues, and friends will be glad you did. Your grandchildren will be glad you did.

Adapted from Parenting: Getting It Right by Andy & Sandra Stanley.

The verses below represent the way that I was raised and influenced the way that I raised my children. Yes, they were spanked and prayerfully we helped them understand why the things they did were wrong. Discipline is never fun but left without it even the child of God dives deeper into wrong attitudes and actions. These words of God are in the Bible for a reason! The discipline of the world today is ineffective and likely to cause worse deeds of disobedience. May we seek the Lord in all things, including discipline and remember that God will discipline us for our disobedience to Him . . .

Prov 13:24

24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son,

but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

ESV

Prov 22:15

15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,

but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

ESV

Prov 23:13-14

13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;

if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.

14 If you strike him with the rod,

you will save his soul from Sheol.

ESV

Prov 29:15

15 The rod and reproof give wisdom,

but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

ESV

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith January 23, 2023

Notes of Faith January 23, 2023

Persisting in Prayer

An Execution and a Rescue

Acts 12 tells the incredible story of Peter’s supernatural deliverance from prison. He gets thrown into jail for his faith in Jesus, has a public execution date set for the next day. Meanwhile, the church gathers at somebody’s house, holds an all-night prayer meeting, and in the wee hours of the morning, Peter shows up at that very prayer meeting.

As it turned out, God was listening and doing the miraculous. He opened a locked cell in the middle of the night and guided Peter from shackles to freedom so he could rejoin the church family that had been asking on his behalf.

That’s the headline. It’s the story everyone remembers from Acts 12, and it’s a good one. But I’m not interested in the headline; I’m caught up in the subtext:

It was about this time that King Herod arrested some who belonged to the church, intending to persecute them. He had James, the brother of John, put to death with the sword. When he saw that this met with approval among the Jews, he proceeded to seize Peter also. — Acts 12:1–3

God miraculously freed Peter, but James was unjustly executed. Why? Why did God respond miraculously to prayer for Peter, but silently to prayer for James? Both of these men were in his inner, inner circle, his core three disciples, so it wasn’t that he favored one over the other. Surely the church prayed for both. If they gathered for an all-night prayer meeting for Peter, it’s safe to assume they responded in the same way for James. Both were arrested and imprisoned by the same corrupt tyrant for the same unjust cause, perhaps even occupied the same jail cell. So, why God? Why let James die if you have the power to teleport Peter to safety?

I don’t know. That’s the only honest response.

Here’s what I do know:

God works slowly out of compassion, not apathy.

I know God puts up with a ton of corruption, and His slow, loving way of redemption asks of us patience and endurance in suffering. I know that when I read Acts, I see a seasoned, resilient faith — a praying people who dance with God through miracles and bear with God through mystery.

God works slowly out of compassion, not apathy.

Lost in the background of the action sequences and miraculous montages of Acts is this — a community that gathered to pray, even after they had tried it once before only to watch darkness win, at least from their point of view. They kept on praying in the face of unanswered prayer. They persisted in prayer.

Where does that come from? Only from the belief that God is bottling up my tears and saving them right next to my prayers. That both are key ingredients in the recipe of redemption. That He loves me too much to let either go to waste.

Can we become again a persistently praying kind of people? Can we recover the legacy of our ancient ancestors, lost somewhere along the way? Can we preserve it, enflesh it in our bodies, express it in our lives?

“Keep on asking and it will be given to you. Keep on seeking and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.” That’s the invitation Jesus offered us. And anyone who takes him up on it and prays this way long enough will eventually find themselves on the doorstep of resilience.

PRACTICE — Persistent Prayer

Prayer in persistence can be understood in three movements.

1. Say It Like You Mean It

Don’t begin with grit or faith. Start with disappointment, naming your pain and need to God. He collects our tears, and we begin by doing the same, dragging up our painful experiences of his perceived absence, silence, or rejection. Tell God your disappointments in prayer, and don’t water it down. Forget your manners. Tell it like it is.

2. Listen for the Question

Invite God to show you the question beneath your disappointments. You’ll know you’re at the root when you get to a deeper question. Beneath the circumstances left in the wake of your disappointment lives a question about the character of God. Is God really loving? Is God really listening? Does God really care about this part of my life? Is God really powerful? Can God heal even this? Is God really bending all toward redemption? Remember, there’s a question hooked into God’s person, His character. Listen till you find it.

3. Ask God to Meet You in the Question

Hold your deep question before God, inviting Him to bring healing. He heals through this process of pointed questions, so this question you’ve discovered holds within it the power of healing. Invite Him and keep inviting. He’s a miracle-working God who sometimes opens the eyes of the blind. He’s also a divine companion who sometimes stumbles around with us in the dark, wearing our pain alongside us. He’s a master healer. Our only role is to invite and keep inviting.

It is through this process that you will discover the faith to ask again, to keep on interceding, to fill up that heavenly bowl. He is less interested in our asking out of duty or gritted teeth and more interested in the kind of asking that emerges from the healed heart of recovered faith.

Excerpted with permission from Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools by Tyler Staton, copyright Tyler Staton.

We will never come to know the depths of God. But in and through prayer we are given a glimpse of His glory. Let us be fervent and persistent in prayer that we may draw close to the One who created and loves us more than any other.

Pastor Dale