Notes of Faith September 4, 2023

Notes of Faith September 4, 2023

Covered by Grace: Dealing with Shame

State Shame versus Trait Shame

The temporary state of feeling shame when we realize that we have lost standing in someone’s eyes because we have done something wrong can be redemptive. As the theologian Lewis Smedes writes, “A healthy sense of shame is perhaps the surest sign of our divine origin and our human dignity. When we feel this sense of shame, we are feeling a nudge from our true selves.”1

But feeling shame as a more permanent trait—a sense that we are fundamentally flawed and are unworthy and unlovable — is toxic and destructive.

Healthy shame can function like a proximity sensor on a car, signaling that we have veered off in the wrong direction so we can steer back toward our divine origin. In the beginning we were made in the image of God, and before “original sin” we experienced original glory.

If shame tells us that we are not living the way we were designed to live, then before sin came into the world, shame was not an emotion human beings experienced. According to Genesis, Adam and Even existed in the garden of Eden naked and without shame. They lived not only physically naked in each other’s presence, but they were also psychologically and spiritually open and free with each other — a condition we’ve yearned for ever since.

But then sin and shame entered their story.

The very phrasing that Adam and Eve were both naked and felt no shame suggests that this emotion was about to enter their world. The biblical author could have written, “they were naked and happy,” or “they were naked and at home with themselves and each other.”2

Then Satan enters the garden of Eden and approaches Eve and Adam in the form of a serpent. When we hear the word “serpent,” we might imagine a hideous creature slithering on its belly. But according to some biblical scholars, before the serpent was cursed, it may well have been the most dazzlingly beautiful creature in the garden.

Scripture tells us that Satan was once an angel of light, but one who apparently didn’t feel like he was enough, so he aspired to be equal to God. This one who feels like he’s not enough approaches Adam and Eve and insinuates that they are not enough either. He whispers, “You could be so much more if you eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. You will be just like God, knowing good from evil. You will be fulfilled and free!”

The serpent suggests that by forbidding them to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, God doesn’t have their best interests at heart — and literally and figuratively, Adam and Eve bite.

But do they become like God? Fulfilled and free? A better version of themselves?

No — immediately, they sense that something has been taken from them, and they experience a feeling they have never known before: shame. Their instinct is to hide. So they reach for fig leaves to cover themselves (Genesis 3:7). When we turn away from our creator — the source of all beauty, love, and joy — instead of feeling that we are more, we feel that we are less. And even as we are turning away, we are longing to experience connection and belonging, to find someone who, despite our shame, will love us and say, “I am here, and I am not going anywhere.”

Covering Ourselves

Like Adam and Eve, shame makes us feel vulnerable and exposed, and so we avert our gaze, looking down and away, or curl in on ourselves, making ourselves small. When we feel this way — whether at a conscious or unconscious level — we frantically try to do something to cover ourselves so we don’t have to feel the pain of our shame.

Some of us may overwork as a way of covering our sense of deficiency. While I was in my twenties, I worked in the corporate world of Tokyo. My workday went from seven in the morning until just after eleven at night (including the commute time). In the shame and honor culture of Japan, “seven-eleven” men work long hours not only out of loyalty to the company but also to be seen by others as dutiful and hard-working.

Some of us might use sports as a way to cover ourselves. Growing up, I loved sports, especially informal games of hockey or football in the cul-de-sac in front of our home. But during high school, I began forming my identity around sports. I began to play sports as a way to earn respect and to impress girls who would otherwise not notice me.

Others might pursue knowledge and education as a kind of covering, a fig leaf to mask the nagging sense of not being enough. I have a brilliant and well-educated friend who has earned degrees from several prestigious schools and is a widely respected leader in his field. But in junior high, he was bullied because he wasn’t athletic, and sports were valued above all else. In the schoolyard, he hid from his peers and soothed himself by silently repeating, “I’m smarter than you. I’m smarter than you. I’m smarter than you.”

We can also use our ministry involvements to cover over our sense of inadequacy. Though I would love to say I have always engaged in my pastoral ministry solely for the glory of God and the good of others, if I am honest, I have to admit that a part of me has wanted to succeed in my vocation as a way to prove my worthiness.

We can also become religiously compulsive and obsessively conscientious as a way of masking our feelings of not being enough. Or we might cultivate a sculpted body, curate our image through social media, or try to raise accomplished children to cover up our inner shame.

All these psychological fig leaves of being more athletic or musical, smarter or better educated, thinner or beefier, higher on the ladder of our profession, amassing money or travel experiences, or being morally upright may make us feel temporarily better, but none of them will bring us the lasting, confident contentment we are seeking.

Trappist monk Thomas Merton observed that we try to clothe our invisible, nonexistent self in an attempt to make our invisible self more objectively real.3 We wrap achievements, novel experiences, pleasures, and material possessions around ourselves like bandages, believing that these coverings will make our invisible selves more visible.4

Merton described this self that we are trying to create by what we do, have, or accomplish as our false self.5

The False Self

Living for achievement, approval, pleasure, and material security will ultimately fail to cover and protect us. All these coverings are mere fig leaves that provide a very temporary and flimsy garment.

I have a friend who is a gifted actor, who can step into a variety of personas not only on a movie set but also in real-life interviews and social situations. He can play a brash, über-confident man or a deferential and solicitous one, a charming flirt or a shy and nervous misfit. But when we project a false self, the “self” that others love is not really us.

Furthermore, when we live from our constructed false self, we cannot truly experience the love of God, for as Thomas Merton contends, God does not know (and therefore cannot love) our false self. Merton goes on to say that to be unknown by God gives us way too much privacy!6

Coming Home to Our True Self

So how do we return to our true self? How do we recover our primal innocence of being “naked and without shame” before God? How can we exhibit the best qualities of a healthy and free child who has not yet learned to wear the cumbersome raincoat of shame, which repels the grace of God?7

In the words of a friend,

how can “we become who we were before the world told us who we had to be”?

How can we become more vulnerable and open, living from the deep center of our true selves rather than a projected image that will impress others or ourselves?

Where we can say with the poet May Sarton:

Now I become myself.

It’s taken Time, many years and places;

I have been dissolved and shaken,

Worn other people’s faces...

Now I become myself.8

How can we begin to live from our true self so we can truly experience the love of God, which will cover us with a lasting garment that protects us from the storms of life?

When we realize we have lost our keys, wallet, or something precious or important, we retrace our steps to the place we last remember having the lost item. We have all lost the innocent sense of being naked and unashamed, uninhibited and free, living from our deep center, our true self. So let us go back to where we last experienced that sense of uncovered vulnerability.

At the beginning of the biblical story, humans walked with God without shame in Eden in the cool of the day, enjoying true intimacy with the Creator.

We, too, can overcome our sense of shame as we walk with God and enjoy intimacy with our Maker.

When the light of God’s love shines into our lives, the diamond of our true self will be illuminated, and we will grow more beautiful and vulnerable, open and free. As we live in the light of this divine love, we will be freed of the shame that binds us.

Our deepest happiness will not come from pursuing achievement, pleasure, or material security, but from knowing and living in divine love. This love isn’t something we achieve but is a gift that we receive. It is not something we can create; it is conferred on us by another.

Lewis B. Smedes, Shame and Grace: Healing the Shame We Don’t Deserve (Lexington: Lexington Accessible Textbook Service, 2006), 32.

Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe about Ourselves (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2015), 99.

Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, 34–35.

Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, 34–35.

Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, 34–35.

Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, 34. Shame is not hardwired into us, but children as young as fifteen months can learn to feel shame.

May Sarton, “Now I Become Myself,” in Collected Poems, 1930– 1973 (New York: Norton, 1974), 156, used with permission. The poem was brought to my attention in Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2000), 9.

Excerpted from Now I Become Myself by Ken Shigematsu, copyright Ken Shigematsu.

The more intimate we become with God, the more we spend time with Him, the more we become like Jesus, the more we experience the love of God and not the shame of disobedience. Thought we can never be perfect until we are taken to be with God, we must strive to be holy, and pure while we live in this world. “Be holy for I am Holy, says the Lord. Draw close to God and He will draw close to you. He is always close…it is we who walk away in disobedience and shame.

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith September 3, 2023

Notes of Faith September 3, 2023

A Little Vulnerability Can Change Your Life

I’m one of those all-in kinds of people. If I decide I like something, or that there’s something I want to try, there’s no going slowly and gently feeling my way through. For me it’s more like a blonde bull in the proverbial china shop yelling, “I’M HERE, Y’ALL!” I’m passionate about all the things I love: my people, my animals, my places, my food. And I’m extremely passionate about my faith.

Now, I wasn’t always that way; in fact, I was a believer for a long time before I was a passionate believer. I didn’t even know you could be all that excited about Jesus. I thought good Christians were reserved, soft-spoken, and super polite. Oh, and they were generally pretty old. Based on the elderly congregations I grew up with, I’d concluded it took many years to get Jesus all the way into a person.

My sweet friend Stephanie Payne showed me just how wrong I was. Stephanie and her husband, Tim, founded Momentum, a church in Gulf Breeze, Florida. I came to know them in the beginning stages of their church — about three months in, to be exact. I fell in love with who they were and the excitement of building something new in our town, and I was all in. Now, I will clarify that my version of being “all in” in a scenario like this rarely includes setting things up or taking them down (skills desperately needed in a new church that doesn’t have a permanent location) or cleaning things or cooking things — I’ve never been that all in for anything. So in this case my “all-in” status meant I was an excellent hype girl.

I was excited about all the possibilities this church brought to our little city. I loved meeting new people, and the way Tim preached was new to me. Tim was a bold, energetic, and passion-filled pastor — he spoke in a relatable, conversational way, holding my attention with stories about how the Bible’s teaching related to our everyday lives; he could make me laugh and bring me to tears in the space of twenty minutes. Prior to attending Momentum, I had attended mostly Catholic churches and one conservative Methodist one, where the pastor and priests — though wonderful in their own ways — were solemn and more prescriptive, with lots of recitation and little spontaneity. This more contemporary way of sharing Jesus excited me.

What does any of this have to do with vulnerability? Hold on, I promise I’m getting there.

Early on, Momentum introduced a program of community groups, creating a way to connect people within the church, to invite outsiders in, and to, well, love on one another. Some people call these Bible study groups or small groups or life groups; whatever the name, they were small gatherings of ten to twenty people where you talk about all things Jesus and life.

It sounded pretty good to me, and I signed up right away because, remember, I was all in. We were told that for the first semester of our group, we would meet weekly on Tuesdays and discuss Mark Batterson’s book The Circle Maker. Buying the book was easy. Reading the first chapter, per our assignment, was not quite as easy but more painless than I expected. (As you know, I’m not a big reader, but this book was engaging and gave me a new perspective on praying.)

Then, suddenly, the day arrived. It was time to actually show up. To get in the car and drive to the inaugural meeting of my new community group.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever been invited to a gathering of women where you don’t know any of them (except maybe the host or the one overly friendly neighbor who invited you), but I feel it is always, no matter my age, a little terrifying. In fact, I can work myself up into such a tizzy over not knowing anyone that I will back out of attending things like this entirely. It’s a little ridiculous when I say it out loud, but I have done this more than once. Many times more than once.

But this time, whether it was my comfort level with my weight at the time or my hair working particularly well that day, I decided to take a leap and attend the first meeting at Stephanie Payne’s home.

I had no idea what to expect other than some Jesus conversation, which I was certainly too biblically uneducated to partake in, but I figured I could listen and learn.

When I arrived, Stephanie greeted me at the door with a big hug and quickly introduced me to several of the women, two of whom I had already met at church. There was food laid out across the kitchen counters and a coffee station. Food and coffee is the right way to start anything, in my opinion. We talked for about twenty minutes and then Stephanie guided us into the living room, where people sat on the sofa, chairs, and the floor. It felt relaxed and comfortable. We talked about that week’s chapter of the book, and we shared about our lives, and then we prayed together. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But something beautiful happened in that living room I had never experienced before — a group of mostly strangers became friends.

Let’s go back to the “we shared about our lives” part.

We opened up. I mean A LOT. We should have signed waivers that said, “What happens in small group stays in small group.” Stephanie had asked each of us, one by one, what she could specifically pray circles around. The first couple of answers were sweet and maybe what I would call polite “surface answers,” like someone’s daughter had a big exam the next day and someone else’s husband had an important business trip coming up. But then the third woman, as soon as Stephanie put a hand on her shoulder, broke down in tears. This sweet woman began to share about her difficulties at home and her husband’s addiction to alcohol. She shared her embarrassment and frustration and fear.

It took another woman’s vulnerability for me to be open and vulnerable about my own struggles.

Her vulnerability cut right through me. What she shared that day, that painful struggle of an alcoholic spouse, was the very same struggle I was experiencing in my own home. This was a few years before Craig’s sobriety and it was something I had been silent about, a deeply buried secret I was too ashamed to share with anyone.

But in my new friend’s heartbreaking and raw vulnerability, she gave me permission to share my own story. Although it took me a few weeks before I felt comfortable enough to speak up, when I did, it was as if the Hoover Dam itself had crashed down in tiny pieces, carrying with it the weight of my shame over Craig’s drinking. In that experience, I realized that

it took another woman’s vulnerability for me to be open and vulnerable about my own struggles. I felt like I had discovered a secret of the universe.

So let’s talk about that secret. Vulnerability.

First, being vulnerable is not weak. It can show weakness, but it is in no way weak. Quite the contrary — it takes a lot of courage to share pieces of ourselves with others, especially those areas we perceive as shameful or damaged.

Vulnerability is essential to real connection with other women. If we can agree that the opposite of being vulnerable is being protected, then let’s imagine that whatever armor is protecting us is also forming a heavy glass barrier between us and those around us. You and others can see each other just fine, and most people won’t even realize the barrier is there — until they get close, and BOOM. They bump up against your glass. Where we keep the armor, we have the barrier; where we smash it down, we get connection.

The great Brené Brown talks a lot about vulnerability, and I enthusiastically endorse just about everything she says, but I would like to put forth a slightly radical take on one of her pearls of wisdom. “Vulnerability,” she says, “is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.”1

I say maybe we shouldn’t always wait until someone has earned the right to hear our experiences.

I say we get vulnerable more liberally, sharing some of the ugly stuff when it feels right, even if it’s the first or second time we’ve met. If that woman from my community group at Stephanie’s house hadn’t shared about her alcoholic husband the first time we met, who knows what precedent would have been set? Who knows how long it would have taken for her words to move me to get vulnerable, what chain of events would have failed to be set off?

However, I also very much want to acknowledge that you’ve got to use some discretion here. There is an appropriate and an inappropriate time to share. If we share too much too fast in certain situations — like when you’re on a first date, or at the office, or checking out at the grocery store — it can not only push the other person away but might totally freak them out. And there’s no way to guarantee, even in the most appropriate circumstances, that the other person will respond in the way you hope they would.

But if your heart feels compelled to, give it a try. For me, when the day came that I finally told my new community group about the private, shame-inducing struggles in my home and marriage, I surrendered carrying the weight of that secret. I surrendered it to those women and I surrendered it to God. I was instantly lighter, and it was easier.

Was my whole life healed at that moment? Of course not. Saying it aloud did not end Craig’s addiction or my pain, but I was a little stronger, a little more capable of bearing the weight. I experienced the relief and hope that came with their heartfelt, beautiful, supportive, encouraging hugs and words. I saw empathy in their tears and knew I was not alone. With time, God did heal Craig’s addiction and our marriage, but for me, healing started in a room with real, raw, unapologetic sharing between women.

Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (NY: Avery, 2012), 45.

Excerpted from Midlife Battle Cry by Dawn Barton, copyright W Publishing.

Being vunerable is nt easy, but if you want the most intimate, trusting, faithful, relationship, whether spouse or friend, being vulnerable is necessary. We are made to bear one another’s burdens, to encourage and lift up, to be the love of Jesus to someone in need. The blessings return as we share our own struggles in life and others encourage and bless us. Let us learn to be vunerable with those closest to us, to receive blessings and give them in return.

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith September 2, 2023

Notes of Faith September 2, 2023

How Jesus Saves

The Lost Father

Abdulfattah Jandali ran a Mediterranean restaurant in California. He was a Syrian immigrant, balding and intelligent, with fierce eyes and round, wire-rimmed glasses. After coming to America, Jandali earned a PhD in economics. He got a job as a professor at the University of Michigan. He began dating a woman named Joanne, and she became pregnant. But despite his brilliance, Jandali was a flawed and restless man. So with Joanne still pregnant, he abandoned both his family and his career. The baby boy in Joanne’s womb was given up for adoption.

Jandali later reunited with Joanne, they were married (briefly), and the couple had a daughter. But when the child was young, Jandali once again grew restless. He left and never returned. The baby girl grew up to be a famous novelist named Mona Simpson. And as an adult, she decided to seek out her long-lost father. What was he like? she wondered.

Why did he leave? Simpson hired a private investigator who tracked down Jandali, managing an eatery in California.

In a corner booth, Jandali told his daughter proudly of the places he had managed over the years — especially the Mediterranean one near San Jose. “That place was wonderful,” he remarked. “All of the successful technology people used to come there. Even Steve Jobs. He was a sweet guy and a big tipper!” Mona Simpson’s mouth fell open. What she never told her father was that Steve Jobs — the brilliant billionaire and founder of Apple Computers — was the baby Jandali had abandoned in the womb. And despite never knowing one another outside of those brief, oblivious encounters — the two men shared uncanny characteristics.1

Fathers shape us even in their absence. We inherit things.

Like a sharp mind, a set of piercing eyes, and maybe even a taste for round-rimmed wire glasses. There is a mystery in what gets passed down. But in the case of Jobs and Jandali, the similarities do not stop there. Eerily, the founder of Apple Computers would also abandon his own firstborn child, Lisa, in the womb, at the exact same age Jandali had been when he left. What should we make of such surprising recapitulations? My claim is not that every aspect of our fate is predetermined by our past or our genetics.

We can make choices — with God’s help — to break certain cycles. But we are often more tied to others than we think as modern, Western individuals. In other words, as Jandali demonstrates:

We are mysteriously bound up with our fallen forerunners.

An Apple with a Bite out of It

Steve Jobs’s famed logo was an apple with a bite missing. Yet there is another bitten fruit that figures prominently in Scripture. In Genesis 3, humans reject their calling to reflect God’s character in the garden they were called to “guard” (shamar; Genesis 2:15, author’s translation). This Hebrew word implies that though Eden was very good, it was not yet perfect. Hence the garden needed to be ordered and protected. That was Adam’s job.

Some scholars picture Eden like a beachhead of shalom (“peace”) carved out by God in a broader world that had already experienced a cosmic disruption. Why else would it need guarding? Why else would there be a talking Tempter who we now know as “that ancient serpent, who is the devil” (Revelation 20:2)? The first humans occupy a territory that is good but dangerous. And by falling for the serpent’s temptation, the head of humanity (Adam) is severed. Adam is cut off not just from the tree of life but from the future God desired for his people.2 Just as with Jandali, fallen fathers cast long shadows. Poisoned water flows downstream. The roots affect the branches. No one sins in a vacuum.

It didn’t have to be this way. Back in Genesis, humans could have done what they were commanded to do: guard the garden. After all, God gave them authority to “rule over” animals (Genesis 1:26). And here was one blaspheming the Creator (Genesis 3:4). Adam could have done precisely what young David did when he heard Goliath blaspheming Israel’s God. He took the fate of the people upon himself as their anointed head and soon-to-be king. What happened to David in that showdown with Goliath (in either failure or triumph) would carry over to the whole nation (1 Samuel 17:8–9). And in this case, as it was with Jesus, it was the Enemy’s head that was severed.

Jesus is the rightful head of an interconnected human family.

Recapping Fallen Adam

This brings me back to Jesus. We have seen how Jesus is connected to Adam as the true head of all humanity. But how can this be? Christ was born long after Adam. And Jesus had no children. Wouldn’t this make Him more like the elbow of the human race? How can Jesus be the true head of all humanity? It’s time to tackle more specifically the nature of our bound-togetherness.

Enter Irenaeus. Despite his strange-sounding name, Irenaeus was a Christian leader just after the time of the apostles (c. AD 180). Like Julian of Norwich, he was fascinated with the connection between Christ and Adam, and he saw this relationship as revealing something about how Jesus saves. Irenaeus noted that God made all humans in His image (Genesis 1:26). And despite sin, we retain that image even now. Since all persons have been stamped in God’s likeness, our bodies have intrinsic value regardless of race, gender, wealth, or shifting beauty standards.

But the image of God is not just something we have — like blue eyes or an intolerance to dairy. The image of God is also something we do.

Humans are called to “image” (or reflect) God to those around us.

It is a vocation and not just a possession. For these reasons, the image of God is one of the most important concepts in the Bible. Why is each human life precious beyond price? The image of God. Why is stewardship of the environment a sign of Christian maturity? The image of God. Why must racism, abortion, and sexual immorality be treated together as offenses against the way of Jesus? The image of God.

The image of God also explains how Jesus can represent all humans even though He is just one man.

It’s because even Adam was made in the image of God’s Son — Jesus. The New Testament speaks of Christ as the true and perfect Image of God (2 Corinthians 4:4; Colossians 1:15). Though we are flawed reflections of God’s character, Jesus is the perfect Image. As the second person of the Trinity, the Son of God preexisted Adam. Jesus is the eternal Son and the creative Word by which God made everything (John 1:1–3; John 1:14). To use the analogy of a copy machine (which sounds pretty sacred, right?), we might say Jesus is the original Image that is used as the pattern to create all subsequent images. Every human who has ever lived was patterned and printed in the image of the true human — Jesus Christ.

This matters for atonement. For Irenaeus, since even Adam was made in the image of Christ, that makes Jesus the true head of all humanity. This means that at the deepest root of our expanding family tree — deeper than your grandparents, your weird uncle, or your ancient ancestors — there is not a fallen father. At the deepest root there is an obedient and perfect Son.

Jesus is the image in which all people were created, and the head of His body, the church (Colossians 1:15). Consider this rough diagram, which took thousands of research dollars to create, and an entire team of artists and geneticists.

the human family

The drawing shows that Christ is the founding head of the entire human race, like the unseen headwaters of a long and winding river. Because while Jesus was born near the middle of the human story, even Adam was patterned on the image of Christ.3 For this reason, Paul states that just as Adam’s disobedience led to the many being made sinners, so also through Christ’s obedience “the many will be made righteous” (Romans 5:19).

Ultimately, Jesus isn’t just one disconnected human individual. Jesus is the rightful head of an interconnected human family.4

No matter what your past is like, this is good news. In the words of Nichole Nordeman, God’s love doesn’t “get hung up on the branches of family trees that bend and sometimes break under the weight of our painful histories. It’s too busy at the roots. Where the soil is soaked in mercy.”5 This is true because Jesus comes not just as one perfect individual in the middle of history, but as the new and true Adam who can empathize with our pain and suffering, while lifting us out of the dirty ditches where we’ve fallen.

Quotations cited from Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2011), 257.

In Genesis, God makes clear that Adam and Eve were not created immortal. It is the tree of life (and their ability to continue eating from it) that makes it a possibility for them to “live forever” (Gen. 3:22).

See Joshua M. McNall, The Mosaic of Atonement: An Integrated Approach to Christ’s Work (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Academic, 2019), 78–79.

Irenaeus, Demonstration of Apostolic Preaching, trans. Armitage Robinson (New York: MacMillan, 1920), 22.

Nichole Nordeman, Love Story: The Hand That Holds Us from the Garden to the Gate (Brentwood, TN: Worthy Publishing, 2012), 50.

Excerpted from How Jesus Saves by Joshua McNall, copyright Joshua M. McNall.

Phil 2:5-11

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith September 1, 2023

Notes of Faith September 1, 2023

Slip Away to A Quiet Place

Rest for Your Soul

by Wendy Blight

Wendy Blight knows what it's like to feel like peace has evaporated and nothing is "normal" anymore. In her new book Rest for Your Soul, she shares how to connect with God through three holy habits — solitude, silence, and prayer.

The words I’m sharing today come from the pages of my new book, Rest for Your Soul: A Bible Study on Solitude, Silence, and Prayer. I’ve titled today’s devotion, “Slip Away to A Quiet Place.” Our key verse comes from the book of Romans,

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. — Romans 15:4 NIV

During the worst of my anxiety, enclosed spaces felt like the walls were closing in on me. Groups and crowds brought on full blown panic attacks. My solution. To never leave my house. I missed work events, parties, showers, weddings and even a funeral for someone I loved.

Do you find yourself in a season of deep unsettledness?

I think Jesus may have experienced that same unsettledness as He walked with His friends into the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus knew His assignment. The persecution, pain and suffering that lay ahead.

Friend, I don’t know about you, but when I see Jesus feeling my feelings, I want to learn from Him … watch what He does … pay attention to what He says.

Matthew 26 tells us Jesus left His friends and went deeper into the Garden to pray and receive strength, processing His agony as He surrendered His will to His Father’s. This gives us a beautiful picture of what it means to take a sacred pause with God. To slip away to a quiet place and wrestle through when it feels like God has forgotten us.

But I want you to know, feeling forgotten is true only according to your feelings. It’s not reality. If you remain in your lying feelings, you will continue to believe them until you make an intentional choice to step outside of your head and into God’s presence and His Word.

This is where the sacred pause of solitude comes in.

Solitude requires temporarily removing ourselves from people to be present with God.

It creates space for Him to speak Truth into the lies we’re believing. To loosen the grip dark thoughts have on us and replace them with God’s thoughts.

Solitude requires temporarily removing ourselves from people to be present with God.

Blessings upon blessings are found in alone time with God. Psalm 1 shares one of my favorites.

Psalm 1:1-3,

Blessed is the one … whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither - whatever they do prospers. — NIV

For me, that word “meditate” brings to mind the image of sitting quietly, pondering and reflecting upon what I’m studying. However, in Hebrew this word is “hagah.” It’s often translated ruminate, eat, or chew on something.

We find “hagah” again in Isaiah 31:4 which says,

For thus the Lord said to me, ‘As a lion or young lion growls over his prey...’ — ESV

Here “hagah” is translated “growl.”

I found that second image, devouring God’s word like a lion eats its prey, incredibly insightful and totally from mine!

I’m inviting you to “hagah” on our key verse today, Romans 15:4.

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have Hope.

In this verse, God explains the role He intends for His Word to play in your life.

God sent His Word for your instruction.

God sent His Word to provide steadfastness and encouragement.

God sent His Word to sustain your hope.

This verse gives us a new lens through which to view our circumstances … God’s lens that encourages us to press on … endure … be steadfast.

It also tells us that same Word will sustain our hope.

The Bible reveals story upon story of people just like you and me pressing through the hard seasons, enduring and finding encouragement and hope even when everything in them wanted to turn back, give up, or walk away.

Friend, never forget your sacred pauses with God in His Word gird your mind to live steadfastly, abide in hope, even in the midst of your unsettled soul.

Invitation for You: Commit to a daily time of solitude this week. Take one sacred pause with God each day. Here are a few verses to meditate on during your time with God. Hebrews 1:3 (God’s glory), Colossians 3:12-13 (loving and forgiving others), Psalm 4:8 (peace and rest).

Prayer for you:

Lord, please settle my friend’s unsettled soul. Help her to carve out time to sit with You and “hagah” on Your Word. Minister to her heart and her hurt as You did Jesus in the Garden. She’s waiting to receive the words of encouragement You have for her to quiet her heart and help her endure what she’s walking through. We trust You, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Written for Devotionals Daily by Wendy Blight, author of Rest for your Soul.

We can never spend too much time with God. His presence is invigorating, brings rest to our souls, and ultimately gives us glory for all eternity. Try it out. Spend time with Him today and again tomorrow. Build a habit that will bless you and give glory and honor to God.

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith August 31, 2023

Notes of Faith August 31, 2023

Season of Grief, Journey of Faith

Understanding Your Grief

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. — Isaiah 40:31

Grief is not an enemy or a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being human.

Grief is the cost of loving someone.

Since grief comes to everyone, why do some people seem to work through it better than others?

“Some people think that going through the losses or crises of life are the exceptional times,” says Dr. H. Norman Wright.

“I see it differently. I see the times of calm as the exceptions. Life really is going through one loss after another, one crisis after another. Instead of avoiding talking about these times, let’s do our homework. When you know what to expect, you’re not thrown by them as much, and you’re going to be better able to recover.”

Lord God, teach me to embrace my grief and not fight it, so that I may experience the true healing that comes from You.

Grief Is a Unique Experience

O LORD, You have examined my heart and know everything about me… Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex… You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. — Psalm 139:1, Psalm 139:14, Psalm 139:16 (NLT)

You may feel it is useless to talk about your grief because no one truly understands what you are going through.

“You sometimes feel after an experience like this that you’re talking a foreign language,” says Dora, whose daughter died. “You feel like there’s no way anybody can know what you’re feeling. There is absolutely no way anyone can know the depth of your pain. So you feel like it’s futile to talk about it because words can’t express the pain.”

Although countless people have experienced grief before you, each person’s response to grief is different. Your path of grief will be uniquely your own.

Be encouraged that regardless of how your grief appears to you or others, it has a precious uniqueness to the One who created you.

God, who knows intimately your personality, your relationships, and the experiences of your life, knows your grief and isn’t shocked or surprised by your responses.

Father, thank You that my way of grieving is distinctly my own, reflective of all You have sovereignly created me to be and experience.

Grief Runs Deep: Where Is the Hope?

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD. — Psalm 31:24

Dr. Joseph Stowell says, “Even though your heart is breaking and tears are clouding your eyes and staining your cheeks, God does give us something worth trusting in tough times. And that’s Him, and Him alone.”

When your heart is breaking, you can place your hope and trust in the Lord.

Anne Graham Lotz defines hope: “Biblical hope is absolute confidence in something you haven’t seen or received yet, but you’re absolutely confident that whatever God has said is going to come to pass.”

She also declares that “Jesus is your hope for the future. One day Jesus Christ will come back, and He will set all of the wrong right. Good will triumph over the bad. Love will triumph over hate. Righteousness will triumph over evil. He’s going to make it all right, and you can have absolute confidence that that’s going to take place. That’s your hope.”

Sovereign God, I choose hope. I choose faith. I choose life. Give me an unshakable faith in You.

When your heart is breaking, you can place your hope and trust in the Lord.

Grief Lasts Longer Than Expected

Grief ’s unexpected turns will throw you again and again. You may feel that for every step forward, you take at least one step back.

The grieving process generally takes longer than you ever imagined. Please don’t rush this process. Remember, what you are feeling is not only normal, it is necessary.

“It’s been seven years, and I’m still going through it,” says Dr. Larry Crabb, whose brother died in a plane crash. “I don’t know if it’s a very holy thing to admit, but when someone says, ‘Well, it’s been a week, a month, a year — Larry, for you it’s been seven years. Get a grip. Where’s your faith in Christ, for goodness’ sake?’ I get really angry.

“Knowing the Lord and His comfort does not take away the ache; instead, it supports you in the middle of the ache. Until I get home to heaven, there’s going to be an ache that won’t quit. The grieving process for me is not so much a matter of getting rid of the pain, but not being controlled by the pain.”

We read in the Psalms that David grew weary with the process of grief and cried out to the Lord. Then he left the timing in God’s hands.

Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long? Turn, O LORD, and deliver me; save me because of Your unfailing love. — Psalm 6:2-4

I am weary with my sighing; Every night I make my bed swim, I dissolve my couch with my tears. My eye has wasted away with grief. — Psalm 6:6-7

Heavenly God, I cannot even begin to put my grief in a time frame. Thank You that I don’t have to. Comfort me and support me as I lean on You.

He Will Carry You

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to You, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. — Psalm 61:1-3

The Lord will carry you if you ask Him. When you are feeling so weak you cannot take another step, ask Him to lift you high into His loving arms. Then rest in Him with an open and listening heart. This does not mean your problems will disappear, but it does mean you will have Someone to share them with.

“If you are someone who does not know Jesus Christ as your Savior and you have just been widowed or bereaved, you have a tremendous burden,” says Elisabeth Elliot. “You are tired, and it is too big a burden to carry. The Lord says, ‘Come to Me, you who are tired and over-burdened, and I will give you rest.’”

To receive peace and rest in Christ, the instructions are clear. Jesus says, “Come to Me.” You must first approach Him and then talk to Him and quietly listen.

Lord, I come to You. My heart is worn out, and I need You. Take my heavy burden today. Amen.

Excerpted from Through a Season of Grief by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard, copyright Thomas Nelson.

If you or someone you know is grieving please consider New Hope Grief Support Community of Long Beach as a resource for help and encouragement.

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith August 30, 2023

Notes of Faith August 30, 2023

Living Well Among Thorns

Finding Strength in Physical Weakness

Article by Vaneetha Rendall Risner

It’s easy to romanticize physical suffering — especially when you’re not the one experiencing it.

Saints like Amy Carmichael, who spent over twenty years bedridden, and Joni Eareckson Tada, a quadriplegic who lives in constant pain, can evoke peaceful images of unbroken communion with God. We may imagine that it’s easier for them to endure pain and weakness than it is for the rest of us.

Yet the reality of physical suffering is that it’s insistent and intrusive. No one gets used to it. Pain demands our attention. Time slows to a crawl, particularly in the middle of the night, when we’re begging God for the relief of sleep. We feel alone and isolated. No one else can enter the prison that our bodies have become.

Pain Accumulates

If that weren’t enough, physical pain rarely exists in isolation — it’s usually accompanied by loss, weakness, and dependence. Often, we require help with basic daily needs, and we worry about the burden we’re putting on others. We second-guess every request, not wanting to bother someone one more time. Will people get tired and think we’re “too much”? Do they resent their lack of freedom?

We longingly remember the carefree days before our physical struggles altered our lives, when we could do what we wanted. Now we measure our energy in teaspoons rather than buckets. We weigh every decision, every action. Saying yes to one activity means saying no to many others. It is hard not to envy those with fit bodies, who seem to have no cares.

Pain, loneliness, and longing can give way to depression and despair. We cry out to the Lord for relief, but relief doesn’t come. The cancer spreads. Sleep eludes us. The pain intensifies. The medicine stops working. The side effects multiply. Our caregivers grow weary. Our friends stop checking in. Our resources run dry.

Doubt Advances

The vibrant faith we once had begins to fade — which is exactly what Satan wants to happen as we suffer. He wants us to doubt and fall away from God, convinced that he is indifferent to our cries. Satan knows that we’re susceptible to discouragement when we’re physically depleted, so that’s when he attacks. As physical needs scream for attention, Satan whispers to us, “Does God even hear you, let alone really care for you? If he does, why isn’t he delivering you?”

“If God’s greatest blessing is himself, then perhaps sustenance is a more precious gift than deliverance.”

Insidious doubts slip in, making us question beliefs we once held rock-solid: Are we deeply loved by an all-powerful Father? As soon as we recognize the mental shift, we need to stop and cry out to God, asking him to meet us in our sorrow, to deliver us from our pain, and to show us evidence of his goodness and love. Are we fixating on all that we’ve lost, on how God hasn’t delivered us, on how hopeless we feel? Or do we recognize that God is with us, working for our good, and caring for us each moment?

What we think about in the moments of our deepest pain is critical. Our mindset will determine how we approach the questions that bombard us. Here are three common questions I’ve asked: (1) How can God be “for me” if I’m still suffering? (2) How can God use my weakness for good? and (3) What good can come in moments of overwhelming pain?

1. How can God be ‘for me’ if I’m still suffering?

Sometimes God miraculously delivers us when we plead for relief, like at the parting of the Red Sea. Other times he sustains us, as he did with manna in the wilderness. The Red Sea deliverance freed the Israelites, but their need for manna kept them dependent on God. In gathering manna, they had a harder time forgetting their reliance on God. And if God’s greatest blessing is himself, then perhaps sustenance is a more precious gift than deliverance, since it can keep us in constant communion with him.

Take the apostle Paul. He begged God for deliverance from his thorn in the flesh, but instead he received grace — grace to bear the thorn, grace to be content with weakness, grace that would carry him through other trials as well (2 Corinthians 12:7–10).

When we realize that we can depend on God in our weakness, we learn to trust him in everything. Anyone can thank God for quick deliverance from physical suffering, but we often forget him until the next crisis. Yet when he sustains us in our pain, we’re confident that he is with us always.

2. How can God use my physical weakness for good?

We may think our physical weakness is keeping us from maximum fruitfulness, but that’s impossible. Our weaknesses are a part of God’s plan for our lives; they are intertwined with our calling. Paul thought his thorn was hampering his ministry, but God knew that it was the key to his strength: it forced Paul to be wholly dependent on God. When we are depleted and exhausted, lacking any resources of our own — it is then that we fully rely on God.

And in that reliance, we discover the power of God flowing through us — the same power that raised Jesus from the dead (Ephesians 1:19–20). This power keeps us enduring when we want to give up; it showcases God’s glory and brings lasting change. Because Paul relied on God’s provision, he accomplished more for the kingdom with his thorn than he could have without it. His greatest strength lay in his submission to Christ.

Even Jesus’s greatest strength appeared in his greatest physical weakness. Throughout his ministry, Jesus impacted others by his actions. He calmed the storm with a word. He fed five thousand with a few loaves and fish. He cast out demons, healed the sick, and raised the dead. He turned the world upside down.

But at the end of his ministry, from the Last Supper on, Jesus allowed others to act upon him: he was led away, he was whipped and mocked, he was beaten and crucified. When he submitted to his captors, the crowds saw weakness rather than what was really there: Jesus’s strength and power.

Just before these horrific events, Jesus begged God to take the cup of suffering from him. But it was through Christ’s submission to the will of the Father — to torture and humiliation, to physical abuse and carrying his own cross — that God brought about the most astonishing display of his power and grace. (The One who knew no sin became sin ((ours)) that we might partake of the righteousness of God. There was intense pain in Jesus taking on the sin of the world… at which point His Father turned away from Him. Father, Father, why have you forsaken Me. Again, intense pain that none of us will ever know.) Pastor Dale comments

3. What good can come in moments of overwhelming pain?

Even when we’ve experienced God’s grace through our suffering, we may wonder how anything good could be happening as pain steamrolls us. Yet in some inexplicable way, this too can be part of our sacred calling. We can submit our pain to God even as we cry out to him, and we can plead for relief, as Jesus and Paul did, while offering up our pain as a sacrifice to the Lord.

“Perhaps the sacrifice of praise in our pain is the most exquisite gift we could ever offer him.”

Few people on earth will see the impact of our worship, and some will say that our physical suffering is a waste. Perhaps it is a waste — just as the woman with the alabaster flask was “wasteful” (Mark 14:4). She poured out her precious ointment as an extravagant act of worship, and its fragrance spread everywhere. There was no utilitarian purpose; nothing tangible was accomplished — but the impact of her seemingly wasteful sacrifice will echo through eternity, as saints recount her story forever.

Perhaps our offering to God, amid our agony and weakness, will have the same impact. Perhaps it is just as precious, maybe more so, in the sight of the Lord than all the work we or others do for him. Perhaps the sacrifice of praise in our pain is the most exquisite gift we could ever offer him.

Of this I am sure: no act of worship to Jesus will be wasted.

If we can learn to worship in any and all circumstances that we find ourselves we will truly know and experience the love of God. God’s plan is unfolding for each of us as He leads, guides, and directs our journey toward our eternal home. Here, we will find struggle, suffering and pain, but there, only joy inexpressible and things God has prepared for those who love Him that cannot even be imagined! Press on with me through the frailties of life, looking forward to the glory that God has planned for us!

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith August 29, 2023

Notes of Faith August 29, 2023

God's Peace for When You Are Anxious About Tomorrow

As you sink into bed tonight, exhausted, are you already thinking about tomorrow’s meetings, next week’s obligations, next month’s deadlines?

You’re anxious about tomorrow… and the next day… and the next.

Whether you’re a busy mom who’s worried about your child’s future, an overwhelmed college student in the throes of midterms, or a rising executive with demands pulling from every direction, it’s difficult not knowing what tomorrow will bring. This anxiety is something that keeps many people awake at night — but does it do any good?

One result of anxiety is that it can certainly make you feel productive. At least you’re keeping a running tally in your mind of things to do, scenarios that could go wrong, or new ideas to explore, right? But the problem is this: you can’t keep going all the time. Your mind and body need a break. You need a break. Your boss needs a break. Even the president needs a break sometimes.

The best thing you can do for yourself is take time to rest. True rest doesn’t look like collapsing into bed, nerves fried and adrenaline pumping, either. It looks like letting your mind, body, and soul rest in the palm of the Lord.

True rest always involves surrendering to God.

God doesn’t tell us to rest for His own good — He tells us to rest for our own good. God worked six days and rested the seventh. He was — and is — the mastermind behind the entire world, yet He took time to give Himself a break. To cease from working, to cease from creating, cease from doing.

Emulate the Lord’s pattern of work and rest tonight.

While you are in bed you can’t work efficiently and you certainly can’t get anything done. Nighttime calls for rest. There may be unforeseen challenges ahead tomorrow, and there might be things that have been left undone today. But the Lord tells us not to worry about tomorrow because each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34).

True rest always involves surrendering to God.

Sink into your bed letting a wave of relief wash over you; tomorrow is not yet here. You have nothing on your agenda right now except for sleep.

Ask the Lord to lift the burden of anxiety off your shoulders.

As sure as the stars twinkling in the night sky, He will answer your request. As gently as the crickets sing throughout the evening, the Lord will come to you. Rest tonight, dear one. The Lord is near.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. — Philippians 4:6

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken. — Psalm 55:22

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. — Psalm 34:17 ESV

But in the seventh year there shall be a Sabbath of solemn rest for the land, a Sabbath to the Lord. You shall not sow your field or prune your vineyard. — Leviticus 25:4 ESV

Prayer

I come to You with a troubled, anxious heart, Lord. I ask You now to take away my anxiety and fear so that I can rest deeply tonight. Please answer my prayer quickly!

Excerpted from God’s Peace for When You Can’t Sleep, copyright Thomas Nelson.

Achieving rest and refreshment is hindered many nights due to an anxious or busy mind that won’t let you sleep. We are created to work and rest, needing both and when we miss one or the other, problems arise. We need regular periods of rest. Today, I am more likely to share a nap time with one of my grandchildren, no judgment please, because I feel refreshed even after a few minutes to continue the needs of the day. Join me in turning things that make us anxious over to the Lord and truly get some much needed rest.

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith August 28, 2023

Notes of Faith August 28, 2023

You Can Have Peace Amid Suffering

Breathe Deep and Know: Suffering is part of life, but we can have courage and peace to walk through that suffering as we trust in the One who has already given us ultimate victory.

Sometimes we get this idea that if only we had more faith or if we just prayed enough or in the right way, all our suffering would go away, our sickness would be healed, and we wouldn’t struggle anymore. But God never promised this.

In fact, Jesus said that we will have suffering; we will have trouble. What He promises isn’t freedom from suffering but His presence and peace in the midst of it. We can have ultimate peace because He has already ultimately conquered the world.

The reality is that we may not experience full healing this side of eternity, but we can still have peace that comes only from putting our full trust in Him, knowing that He is writing a good story that is bigger than our current struggles, that He has woven His breath through every moment of our lives, that He is with us and loves us no matter what worries or anxieties may fill our minds.

He is a good, good Father.

He is with us in our ache, and He wraps our worries in His abiding love.

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. — John 16:33

Inhale: I have peace in You;

Exhale: You have conquered the world!

He is a good, good Father.

You Can Trust God In Suffering

Breathe Deep and Know: You can trust God, even in your suffering.

Are you suffering in some way today? Is there a pain, hurt, or illness you want God to heal? We pray for healing because God is the great Healer, and we pray for miracles because God is the God of miracles—and it is good to pray for these things.

But sometimes the hurt doesn’t heal on this side of eternity. Sometimes pain endures and the suffering is long and the struggle lingers. Those who live with chronic pain or mental health conditions know this well. But that doesn’t mean God didn’t hear our prayers or that we don’t have enough faith.

The truth is, God doesn’t always remove the cup of suffering. He didn’t take it away from even His own perfect and beloved Son.

And although we may not fully understand His ways or His will, we can always trust His heart and rest in His wisdom.

When we pray for God’s will to be done, as Tim Keller writes, “It is to say, ‘Here’s what I need — but You know best.’ It is to leave all our needs and desires in His hands in a way that is possible only through prayer. That transaction brings a comfort and rest that nothing else can bring.”1

Father, if You are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want Your will to be done, not mine. — Luke 22:42

Inhale: Father, if You are willing

Exhale: Take this suffering from me.

Inhale: Yet not my will

Exhale: But Yours be done.

Timothy Keller, Prayer (New York: Penguin, 2016), 101.

Excerpted Breath as Prayer by Jennifer Tucker, copyright Jennifer Tucker.

We may never get to the same faith and trust in God as Jesus had in His Father while we yet live on this earth. We do not like suffering and think that if we had just done things a little different that we could have avoided it. Not so, according to Jesus, In the world you will have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world. This life and its suffering is temporal. It doesn’t last long. Our entire live is but a vapor and vanishes quickly. It cannot be compared with the glory that God has prepared for us that is eternal. Hang in there. Your reward is coming soon.

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith August 27, 2023

Notes of Faith August 27, 2023

How to See Your Wife

Three Ways to Love Her Better

Article by Matt Bradner

The scene was reminiscent of a scary movie. Julia walked out to the church parking lot and found an ominous note taped to her car window: “I SEE YOU!”

Though she thought I was hundreds of miles away, I was actually nearby, watching the entire scene unfold. When she began to nervously look around, I took that as my cue and drove up next to her. As she stared in shock, I asked in the smoothest way possible, “Wanna take a ride?” (Yes, I had rehearsed it many times.) She joyfully got in the car, and a few hours later, I got down on one knee and asked if she would marry me. She said yes.

The cryptic three-word message was actually not the way I intended to start the morning. I had crafted the perfect poem to start our engagement day, but it got lost somewhere between my hotel and the church. With only a few seconds to write something, “I SEE YOU!” was all I could come up with.

We used to think our engagement was perfect except for those hastily written three words. Ironically, after 22 years of marriage, that note has become one of our favorite parts of the day. In fact, one of our marriage goals is to regularly and intentionally communicate what first happened on accident: “I see you.” While many fantasize about falling in love at first sight, we’ve discovered a better dream: a marriage that furthers love with each additional sight.

God Saw

It took a few years of marriage before I realized the power of sight as a way to pursue Julia. Up to that point, I was focused on developing my listening skills. Then, right when I began to make progress on that, God revealed (in perfect Godlike fashion) a new need for development: looking skills. We get a glimpse of the power of sight in the way God describes Israel’s suffering in Egypt:

God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel — and God knew. (Exodus 2:24–25)

By developing our listening and looking skills, we unlock a powerful combination in our marriages. When we listen, we communicate that our wife has been heard. When we look, we communicate that she is known and understood.

Unfortunately, far too many wives are overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness. Day after day, they feel invisible to the man they love. When I reflect on my own marriage and the real reasons why I don’t actively bless my wife as God intends, I admit that one of my main obstacles is optical. I don’t actually see what’s happening around me because I’m not really looking.

Savior with Wide Eyes

My breakthrough started with a study on all that Jesus noticed. Our Savior walked through life with eyes wide open. Jesus noticed Nathaniel under a tree (John 1:48) and Zacchaeus up in a tree (Luke 19:5). He noticed John’s disciples following at a distance (John 1:38) and the touch of one desperate woman while the masses pressed around him (Luke 8:45). Jesus watched in moments we think you shouldn’t, such as when the poor widow put all she had into the offering treasury (Luke 21:1–4). He also watched in moments we know we couldn’t, such as when he himself was the offering.

Even as he hung on the cross in intense agony, his eyes looked beyond his own suffering and responded with love. He prayed for those who crucified him (Luke 23:34), comforted a criminal next to him (Luke 23:43), and cared for his loved ones there for him (John 19:26–27). And through it all, Jesus kept his eyes on the work of his Father (John 5:19–20). Simply put, Jesus’s entire life and ministry deliberately and compassionately communicated, “I see you.”

I don’t wake each day with the burden to perfect who Jesus is for my wife, but I do rise with the great privilege to reflect him.

Three Paths to Better Sight

Empowered by the truth that God keeps me as “the apple of [his] eye” (Psalm 17:8), I made the commitment to be a man who takes literally the command that “each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). Over the years, I have landed on three practices that promote a marriage culture that sees: stop, scribe, and speak.

STOP

When Moses discovered a bush on fire yet not consumed, he stopped to see what was going on. What happens next is worth reading slowly: “When the Lord saw that [Moses] turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush, ‘Moses, Moses!’” (Exodus 3:4). When Moses stopped to see, the Lord started to lead. I believe the same principle is true for each of us in our various relationships, whether with God, wife, or children. When we stop to see, the Lord may start to lead.

Apart from praying, I can’t think of a more effective use of my time than to stop what I’m doing and think about what I’m seeing in the life of my bride. These moments are always beneficial, and the main requirement is that I create the space with a curious spirit.

SCRIBE

After taking the time to stop, I embrace the mindset of a scribe, taking notes on what I’m seeing. My observations are usually focused under a few main categories:

What makes her happy or sad?

What are her consistent dreams or disappointments?

What relaxes her or increases her stress?

What has she mentioned that could be a great “just because” gift?

I’m both excited and embarrassed when I go to scribe. The excitement comes from the awareness that God is leading; I’m seeing things! The embarrassment comes from reading previous observations and recognizing how quickly and easily they slipped my mind. But at least I see them again, because I’m a scribe. I encourage you to write what you see, because there is power in the pen (Deuteronomy 17:18).

SPEAK

Last, after taking the time to stop and scribe what I see, I speak.

My first words are to God on Julia’s behalf. Genesis 25:21 tells us, “Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she was barren. And the Lord granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived.” I love the simple words “Isaac prayed . . . because she was . . .” As a prayer prompt, I will write these very words on a page and fill in the blank with as many things that come to mind: “Matty prayed . . . because Julia was . . .” Sentences like this give me a practical way to take all that I have seen and speak them to the One who cares for my wife most. Perhaps you don’t need a prompt like this to inspire you, but I sure do. I fear becoming the kind of husband of whom it could be written, “Matty did not pray for his wife, but she was . . .”

While the first words are spoken to God, additional words often come later. When I consistently stop to see, I find that my speech to Julia routinely lands with substance and strength. While I never assume the ability “to sustain with a word him who is weary” (Isaiah 50:4), I am keenly aware of where that ability comes from. Speaking such words begins with hearing (Isaiah 50:4), and hearing often begins with seeing (Exodus 3:4). This is the life-giving power that a husband kick-starts when he simply takes the time to see.

The part of the country we call home is adjacent to the Appalachian Trail, with some of the nation’s most beautiful viewpoints. Typically, the higher you go, the more clearly you see. For me, cultivating the simple yet consistent practice to stop, scribe, and speak is akin to walking up three giant steps that give me a higher, more breathtaking view of how good and generous God has been to me through my wife. It’s amazing what you can see when you are looking!

Just celebrated uear number 44 together. Wish it were more but she was only 21 when we got married. Growth through the years I have certainly needed and still desire to learn to love my wife more. To love as God loves! I cannot and most likely will fail many more times, yet the presence of God in our relationship, His giving us to one another makes it as perfect a union as earthly possible. Praying for more learning and practicing loving my wife for many more years to come.

I love you Robin!

Pastor Dale

Notes of Faith August 26, 2023

Notes of Faith August 26, 2023

Always Keep Praying - Ephesians 6:18

Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. — Ephesians 6:18

One of Jesus’s disciples asked Him to teach them how to pray. So Jesus — being the good teacher that He was — gave them a two-part lesson. Just as if they were in a classroom.

First, He taught them a model prayer, which may sound familiar to you. He said,

When you pray, say: ‘Father, hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation’.

— Luke 11:2–4

Now, if Jesus had drawn a picture of a man praying, what would the picture have looked like? Would it have shown a man on his knees with his hands folded and his head bowed? Or a man banging on someone’s door in the middle of the night?

If you picked the second answer, you’re right! Because even though Jesus didn’t draw a picture for His disciples, He told them a story. And the story was about a man standing in front of his friend’s house at midnight, calling out for a favor. Jesus was teaching His disciples that they should pray boldly, trusting God to give them what they need. In the story, that’s what happened. The man’s friend got out of bed and gave the man what he requested — because he dared to ask so boldly.

Go to your heavenly Father with any problem or need, without fear.

During another “classroom session,” Jesus told His disciples a different story about prayer “to show them that they should always pray and not give up” (Luke 18:1). This story featured a widow who kept asking a judge for justice. Someone had wronged her, and she wouldn’t stop begging the judge to set things right. Finally, the judge gave the woman what she wanted — because she was so persistent.

Go to your heavenly Father with any problem or need, without fear.

He will hear you and answer you. Be confident, because Jesus paid the price for our sins. That makes us righteous in God’s eyes and allows us to “approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need”

(Hebrews 4:16).

MORE GEMS

Devote yourselves to prayer. — Colossians 4:2

Pray continually. — 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Present your requests to God. — Philippians 4:6

Excerpted from Bible Gems to Remember by Robin Schmitt, copyright Robin Schmitt.

If we could live in a constant state of prayer and communication with God, our lives would follow His will and not our own. Prayer is the key to everything on earth. Let us endeavor to pray without ceasing, always remembering God’s will for us, our decisions and choices. He loves us perfectly!

Pastor Dale